Parent time warp meets pandemic time warp

As we head toward the year mark of our pandemic quarantine, it's still hard to believe all those months have gone by. It feels like we've been suspended in some sort of alterna-time form. Combine that with the fact that children have a way of making you acutely aware of the passage of time and it's enough to make your head explode, which is what happened this weekend.

First, I took Sabrina out driving. Dave had already had the, er, pleasure and it was my turn. I was wary because the roads were caked with snow. Also: It made me feel kinda ancient since I could recall my dad taking me out for practice runs. How did I have a daughter old enough to drive?! Sabrina did well and seemed calm and in control, which is more than I can say for myself. I gripped the seat and, once, screeched "YOU'RE ABOUT TO HIT A SNOW BANK!!!"  

The very next day, Ben had a screening for getting into kindergarten. Kindergarten! Hadn't he just been learning to pick up Cheerios with his pudgy little fingers? Ben was nonplussed, and answered nearly all the questions correctly—where he lived, shapes, capital letters, sounds of words, counting. When confronted with a subtraction equation he wasn't familiar with, he charmingly talked his way out of it by commenting on the numbers.  

He even spelled his name. I mean, n's are hard!

Ben has been obsessed with a Netflix program called Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse, and the other night I overheard him saying "That is sooooo last season" to his dolls. I'd told my friends Hedy and Wendy this during our Saturday night Zoom, and they'd fervently hoped that he might express that during his screening. He did not, although he did offer bonus bits of information such as "When the coronavirus is over, I can kiss on the lips!"  

To top things off, on Sunday night Dave called from his mom's place; he and Max had gone there to watch the Super Bowl. 

"Max is drinking beer!" he announced. He put Max on speakerphone.

"MAX! You're drinking beer?!" I asked.

"YES!" Max confirmed, happily.

To sum up: In the course of one weekend, one teen got into driving; one teen got into beer; and one kid got ready to enter kindergarten. 

The pandemic may make us feel like we're all stagnating, but life: It goes on.