What's happened during 76,320 minutes of extreme family togetherness

A local photographer snapped this picture of us for the Front Porch Project. We've been quarantined for 53 days now—76,320 minutes of extreme family togetherness. It's amazing how happy we look. Sane, even. Whether or not some of us had underwear on, who knows.  

Although we haven't done that much in these past seven weeks, it sure feels like we have lived a whole other life.

• We have cried—because of mean sibling things, frustration, the news. 

• We have had meltdowns. The grownups, too. 

• We have hugged the anger, hurt and fear away.

• We have yelled.

• We have yelled at each other to stop yelling.

• We have Zoom worked, Zoom schooled, Zoom girls-night-outed, Zoom playdated, Zoom family reunioned, Zoom cocktail partied, Zoom pajama-partied, Zoomed up the wazoo.

• We have cheered because we landed a grocery delivery slot. 

• We have stayed up way too late on school nights.

• We have stayed up way too late every night, who am I kidding.

• We have discovered that every single one of us is excessively loud. How have we never realized until now just how LOUD we are? 

• We have washed our hands more than we ever thought humanly possible and created soap messes and glop on the sink countertop previously unseen.

• We have waved at grandparents from behind our closed front door, then devoured the meatballs they left on our porch bench. 

• We have not maintained social distancing from the snack drawer and we really should.

• We have forgotten what day it is and we don't really care. 

• We have finger-painted, dyed beans pastel colors, experimented with a turkey baster, water and food coloring and despaired that other parents are so much craftier and that our children are missing out. (OK, that's just me.)

• We have announced, "Stop using so much toilet paper!!!" (Also me.)

• We have read not nearly the number of books we thought we would given all the "free time."

• We have used up our lifetime allocation of screen time.

• We have gone for a drive around our neighborhood, just for thrills. 

• We have mandated that everyone has to wear their pajamas at least two nights in a row, bonus points for more, to ease up on the laundry situation. (Just me, again.)

• We have celebrated a birthday by bringing in a steak dinner, even if the birthday boy ended up having a freakout about whether we should have brought food in. 

• We have photo-bombed virtual classes, purposefully and accidentally. 

• We have taken comfort under the covers when we've felt sad. 

• We have noticed all the smudges on the windows and stainless steel appliances when the sun streams into the kitchen. (You can bet this is just me.) 

• We have not gotten haircuts for many weeks and are rocking the caveman look for the indefinite future.

• We have fantasized about our next family vacation.

• We have fantasized about just going out to a restaurant. 

• We have skipped baths and showers because after all, our hand are sooooooo clean. 

• We have eaten our body weight in potato chips.

• We have worried whether we'd be able to get our hands on more potato chips.

• We have accused each other of hiding the potato chips.

• SOME of us have given up on making our beds which feels like the end of civilization to SOME of us but, whatever. 

• We have slept in the basement on blow-up beds for an exciting "trip."

• We have gotten on each others' nerves and nerves we didn't even know we had. 

• We have played with Legos, puzzles, board games, marble runs, All The Games and somehow nobody ever wants to do anything for more than six minutes. 

• We have lost the TV remote control way too many times to count. Like, every single day. Perhaps you've heard one of us shouting "WHERE IS THE REMOTE CONTROL?!"

• We have been excessively grateful for our bikes, our barbecue and our backyard. 

• We have been excessively excited when our mail carrier shows up.  

• We have gotten stains on practically every piece of furniture and every rug in the house.

• We have somehow managed to have one kid who puked all day long, despite the fact that we have not come into contact with any other human being for weeks. 

• We have tattletaled on every one of us. It's like the Tattletale Olympics around here. ("BEN SPILLED HIS SMOOTHIE ALL OVER THE FLOOR!"/"DADDY WAS SUPPOSED TO FACETIME YOUR FRIEND FOR A PLAYDATE AT 3:00 AND HE FORGOT!"/MAX SAID A BAD WORD!"/"BEN SAID A BAD WORD!!"/"SABRINA SAID A BAD WORD!"/"MOMMY ATE THE LAST OREO THAT IS NOT FAIR!").

• Did I mention the loudness? 

• We have gotten so very tired of fart jokes, except the four-year-old. 

• We have tried to hide from each other in various parts of the house but inevitably, we get found.

• And we have also found so much comfort in each other's company and savored the safety and security of being at home and felt much gratitude for the first responders and essential workers who risk their lives every day to save and benefit others'. And we keep right on wondering when this will all end. And then we go right back to yelling about the AWOL remote control.