If American Girl made a Special Needs Mom doll

The news came out at the end of last month that American Girl's Doll of the Year was Joss, a surfer babe with a hearing aid whose disability is part of her story.

I've been pondering this, and have decided that it's time the company released a Special Needs Mommy doll. Let's call her Sydney Sotired.

The doll would feature:

-- A slightly harried look on her face
-- Hair in ponytail
-- Phone glued to her ear 
-- Black yoga pants with slight hole in the crotch nobody will even notice
-- A voice that, upon pressing a button, will say:

• "Stop kicking the table legs right now!"
• "Oops, sorry, forgot to fill out the form."
• "What are you staring at?"
• "Yes, I did most of the therapy exercises you recommended!"
• "We need a table in the quiet part of the restaurant."
• "You did it, sweetie! Yeah!!!"
• "We're trying ABA and adding more OT, meanwhile the PT at school told me his SLP is leaving. I'll discuss it at his IEP next week."
• "What do you mean the doctor has no appointments for five months?!"
• "I just need to close my eyes for five minutes. Just. Five. Minutes."
• "Sorry, honey, we can't go sit at the train station again today."
• "He's not a brat, he has special needs."
• "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT GOING TO REIMBURSE ME FOR THE THERAPIES? WHAT ARE WE PAYING INSURANCE FOR?"
• "Don't be sorry, he's a great kid!"

Accessories will include:

-- Lip balm, because that is about all the makeup she has time for
-- A little purse filled with fidget toys and goldfish cracker crumbs 
-- "I survived the IEP" coffee mug
-- Mini EpiPen (likely cost: $300)

Pre-order now!

Photo: American Girl