Dr. Phil dismisses interabled couples and social media shows him

So-called expert Dr. Phil stirred up a storm last week when he featured an interabled couple who were having relationship issues, which started when the woman became the man's full-time caretaker. The man, who is a quadriplegic, needs a fair amount of support. He'd become emotionally abusive. Dr. Phil's assessment: he told the boyfriend that if his partner remained his caregiver, she would not be his girlfriend. His words: "It won't work, 100 out of 100 times this won't work." A bit later he affirmed: "She can be your lover or she can be your caretaker but she can't be both." (Here's the link to the clip from the show). I've searched all over the Internet, and can't seem to find a single source for that statistic. That's likely because he made it up.

Social media exploded. Interabled couple Shane Burcaw and Hannah Aylward, who'd been approached by Dr Phil to be on the episode, took to YouTube to explain why they turned him down. They created the hashtag #100outof100 for couples in interabled relationships, and people have posted on Instagram and Twitter from around the world.

Dr. Phil's rejection of an entire segment of romantic relationships—during Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month, no less—is ableist, prejudiced and so narrow-minded. He insinuated that people with disabilities are burdens who suffocate a relationship. He didn't seem to understand that you can have physical challenges and still have a whole lot to contribute to a partnership. He couldn't seem to grasp that you can be disabled and be someone's soulmate. He couldn't fathom that in the end, it's all about l-o-v-e.

The awful message Dr. Phil implicitly sent to the masses: You don't want to get into a relationship with a person with disabilities because it won't work out. Lemme just say, Dr. Phil, I am mom to one really cute teen boy with intellectual and physical disabilities. He has more empathy, warmth and emotional intelligence than many people I know. He would definitely require care from a partner. And he would make someone really, really happy. So don't you go turning the ladies away from him. And not for nothing, Dr. Phil, someday you might need caregiving. Does that would mean your own relationship would inevitably disintegrate?

One hundred times out of hundred, there is love. And challenges. And hardships. And love. As in any relationship.

I'll leave you with these words from @candyneshama on Insta:

I never fit in anywhere. All my life, I stumbled from thing to thing, trying to figure out who I was, and then I found @maximus_staintacus and we fell in love. I have been his primary caregiver for our whole relationship and I wouldn't have it any other way. I feed him, I get him dressed, I bathe him, I take him to the toilet, I scratch him every time he itches, and I help him transfer from his wheelchair to go all around the house. And of course it's a lot. Keeping Max healthy and alive takes up a large portion of my time & energy. But i wouldn't change a thing, and he does so much for me too. I care for him physically, but he keeps track of my emotional wellbeing, makes sure I'm safe, holds me when I'm scared, nourishes my self esteem, and assures me every day that I am a strong and capable and talented woman.

Update: Here is the link