High school senior Jordan Smith was ready to graduate from Spalding High School in Griffin, Georgia. Because he has autism and sensory issues, and crowds and loud noises freak him out, his family decided he should skip the ceremony, reports the Atlanta Journal Constitution. But his teacher, Dana Jett, had other ideas: She organized a private ceremony for him. As she said, "Jordan's effort, hard work and perseverance are worthy of recognition."
As a parent of a child with sensory issues, I was touched by what this teacher did for her student. As a parent of a young adult, I also hope she OK'd it with him and involved him in the planning. Otherwise, this ceremony would have only had meaning to the people who put it together, pretty much defeating the seeming purpose of it. That's not accommodating, it's exclusionary.
Max has been the beneficiary of much goodwill over the years. But as he's getting older, I've become aware that he should have a say in how he is treated in matters big and small. Last week, before prom, a nurse at his school emailed me telling to send in Max's adaptive cup and utensils. Pretty standard. I asked Max if that's what he wanted; he can drink out of standard cups and use standard spoons and forks, and I thought that he might just want to do that at prom. He did want to bring in a paper cup, but he wanted to use the utensils there. This wasn't such a big deal, but that didn't matter; he deserved to decide.
Me, I've struggle with well-meaning gestures, like when that woman at Dunkin Donuts gave him free donuts. I don't want people to do things out of Max's disabilities, because they are not to be pitied. But, heck, if he himself makes a conscientious decision to take those donuts, fine. And if he's offered an accommodation but would rather do his own thing in his own way, even better.
Image: Screenshot/YouTube
Max has been the beneficiary of much goodwill over the years. But as he's getting older, I've become aware that he should have a say in how he is treated in matters big and small. Last week, before prom, a nurse at his school emailed me telling to send in Max's adaptive cup and utensils. Pretty standard. I asked Max if that's what he wanted; he can drink out of standard cups and use standard spoons and forks, and I thought that he might just want to do that at prom. He did want to bring in a paper cup, but he wanted to use the utensils there. This wasn't such a big deal, but that didn't matter; he deserved to decide.
Me, I've struggle with well-meaning gestures, like when that woman at Dunkin Donuts gave him free donuts. I don't want people to do things out of Max's disabilities, because they are not to be pitied. But, heck, if he himself makes a conscientious decision to take those donuts, fine. And if he's offered an accommodation but would rather do his own thing in his own way, even better.
Image: Screenshot/YouTube
". As a parent of a young adult, I also hope she OK'd it with him and involved him in the planning. Otherwise, this ceremony would have only had meaning to the people who put it together, pretty much defeating the seeming purpose of it. That's not accommodating, it's exclusionary."
ReplyDeleteI do not know what you are getting at here. You said that his parents ( not the teacher) decided he should skip the ceremony. That means it was his parents not the teacher who made the decision that he would be excluded from the ceremony.
Only after that decision was made did the teacher come up with a private ceremony instead. If he was not involved in planning that ceremony that would make him like every single other student who don't get any say in the planning of graduation which is planned by the school, not the kids ( unlike a prom where kids generally have some input and get to make more decisions about what they do at prom....unlike graduation which is usually regulated with military like rules...stand here..walk there...sit now etc...)
Because it was reported that his *family* made the decision for him not to attend, as noted above, I guess I figured it was a whole family decision, i.e., he was part of that. But yes, I should have clearly noted that. As for planning that ceremony, I do feel that he should have been a part of that as well—if they are accommodating him, then he deserves to be a part of the accommodations.
DeleteI just watched the entire video on youtube. Seems to me that Jordan Smith’s graduation was done for the right reasons - - and done well. Some very sensitive, insightful, and loving planning went into that event.
ReplyDeleteWatching the video it does look like the ceremony was a intended with kindness and and Jordan's needs in mind and that Jordan enjoyed it. A younger friend of ours with autism is graduating and we found out not long before the ceremony that he was quite nervous because no accomodations had been made at all-he was expected to be out with all the many students at the large school for the entire graduation. Talk about dropping the ball!
ReplyDeleteSounds like Max is on the way to some hard earned independence and making his voice heard!