Torture by siblings

Me: "Ben, give Max a kiss good night!"

Ben: "No!"

This is typically how bedtime goes at our house, and how Ben and Max often interact. At two years old, Ben likes to tease Max. Dave thinks it's because Max takes the TV remote control away from Ben in the early morning hours (they both wake up around 5:30 a.m.). Ben wants to watch videos of trains, Max wants to watch fire engines.

If Max is headed toward the bathroom, Ben will run ahead of him and try to block his way. If Max is picking up something, Ben will push it out of his hands. There are times when Ben has actually attempted to push Max into another room.

Max shrugs this all off, in his usual good-natured way. Ben is just his pesky little brother.  And to Ben, Max is just his pesky older brother. While I wouldn't wish for others to treat Max this way, there's something to be said about not treating him with kid gloves because he's got disabilities.

It's been the same with Sabrina and Max, since they were tots. Even with Max's challenged fine-motor skills, he was able to swat her beloved pacifier right out of her mouth. In return, she liked to tell him his favorite color wasn't purple (it so was) and that he wasn't going to have a birthday party. She also liked to squeeze him really, really tight—aka the "death grip of love," as a friend with two girls once called it.

I'm not sure if Ben's behavior comes from any perceived jealousy of the extra attention Max gets; I know that Sabrina has felt that way, over the years. Or perhaps it really is all rooted in the battle over the TV remote control. Ben sure does love his train videos.

What I do know is that when Max gets home from school, Ben stands on the porch, gleefully shouts "Hiiiiiiiiiiii!" and waves his arms. And at bedtime, after I tell Ben to give Max a kiss, he refuses, Max starts giggling and I say it again, Ben climbs up on the bed and gives him a big old smoocheroo. And then, he gives him another one.

And then I tell him, "Say 'I love you!'"

And Ben says, "Yuv you!"

Typical.