When informed doctor has no available appointments for six months, refuses to take "no" for an answer.
Nods and pretends to know what child is saying even though she has no idea.
Shoots Death Glare right back at people as child melts down in restaurant/mall/movie/wherever.
Asks PT, OT and speech therapist for more exercises for child. Doesn't do them.
Gives vague/neutral answer when asked if doing all the exercises the PT, OT and speech therapist recommended. ("I'm trying!")
Resolves, once again, to start potty training next week. Or the week after. Or....
Hides therapeutic toy that plays the world's most annoying music.
Hides in bathroom, with magazines.
Gets annoyed when receptionists at doctors' offices refer to her as "Mom"—as in, "I have some questions for you, Mom!"
Gives child's feet a "rest" on weekend and doesn't put on foot braces.
Makes sure babysitter, in-laws and everyone else limits child's screen time—but lets child watch TV or YouTube videos for hours in a row.
Dashes out of home without the EpiPen.
Pretends not to notice child is kicking seat in front of him on plane until person says something.
Briefly considers calling in sick for IEP meeting.
Raids child's Cheez Doodles that the speech therapist is using to practice chewing.
Copies medical form from last year, fills in new date.
Gives up and lets child drink the pool water.
Sneaks glances at Facebook while helping child with homework. Then finishes up child's homework.
Lets child crash in bed, once again.
Informs child that Chuck E. Cheez/car wash/whatever place of obsession is closed...and it's 11 a.m. in the morning.
Has been meaning to organize a team discussion among child's therapists...for a year now.
Image: Screen grab/Bad Moms Official Red Band Trailer
My dentist office is the worst offender at calling my mom "Mom". Like multiple times an appointment bad. Oh and the bed crashing thing- my mom let us do that too.
ReplyDelete...and you turned out just fine, so I guess there are no lasting psychological scars to letting kids crash in your bed! :)
DeleteNope! :)
DeleteMy 9 year old is in Momma's bed now! Even with Melatonin it's the only way he sleeps!
DeleteMy brothers doctors do the "Mom." Thing all the time. And the bed and begging to stop, my mom does that too. What? It's not my fault she made chicken for dinner and "Everything tastes the same, everything tastes like Chicken! Except the chicken. What tastes like fish?" The trolls, The Hobbit - J.R.R Tolkien 1937 (I'm obsessed with anything Tolkien)
DeleteMy brother takes melatonin as well!
Turns up tv/radio/YouTube volume at first identifiable strains of ice cream truck music...
ReplyDeleteHA HA! We're spared because the ice-cream truck rarely makes the rounds in our neighborhood anymore.
DeleteMy mom called it the music truck until we were about 6 and figured it out. And now we know it's overpriced anyway and we don't get it.
Deletehow in the heck did you put this list together - via spy cameras set up in my HOUSE???
ReplyDeleteI obviously have a very vivid imagination! Because I don't know ANYONE who does this stuff. Nope, not me.
DeleteBeing called MOM by authority figures makes me apeshit.
ReplyDeleteTOTALLY.
DeleteThe mom thing doesn't bother me. But most of the others are very true! My special needs child is 17 1/2. I thought parenting the child was hard, I am no where near ready for the next step. Just when you think you got it figured out they go and grow up on you. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteI love the mom name. The worst to me is "young lady" as I'm not young and think it's demeaning. The only good thing is I hear people do it to men as well.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBad writers - lovethatmax edition...
ReplyDeleteTells moms that deal with more stress every single day than most people deal with in a year that they're bad parents for doing any one of an extensive list of things 99.9999% of them have done.
Um, maybe you should get a sense of humor? Or read this blog to know where this post is coming from? Or transform yourself into a special needs mom so you'd understand? One of those.
DeleteI think the bad moms movie is about the idea that we can't live up to being perfect, we all do things lower than our own perfectionist standards and that it's ok once in a while - that we're really NOT bad moms, but average humans
DeleteYes, exactly! We're so not perfect, and that is perfectly fine.
DeleteNot at all..... im.a special needs mom
DeleteMade me laugh and think thankgod its not just me then xx
Funny ideas and I have felt them all but please, please don't call in sick for the IEP. I've, as a teacher, taken a lot of time to gather staff (OT, PT, Speech, Mobility, Autism, etc.) and written the IEP for hours! All those people could be serving other students. Some may have driven a far piece. If you don't want to come then don't, I won't think less of you (I'm a special needs parent too) but give us permission to hold the meeting without you, then come in a chat later. Be kind to teachers - we care about your kids so much!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous Teacher, if I was having an appendicitis attack, I'd make sure they rushed me to the IEP first! I know firsthand how much goes into them on the part of a child's school team and administrators, and I respect and appreciate that.
DeleteI am definitely guilty of some of these! Too funny!
ReplyDeleteYep, six flags is closed today. Oh the beach?! Thats closed too. MCDONALD'S too!...lol
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I can pick just one, b/c I think I am guilty of them all but the one about Chuck E Cheese being closed. I do that with Applebees or I tell him they ran out of something bacon etc if I don't want him to have it and say "they didn't go shopping today, darn!"
ReplyDeleteMy parents let me eat way too much junk food. Then again, forgetting to eat has worse effects on me (backaches, chills, fatigue).
ReplyDelete"Gives child's feet a "rest" on weekend and doesn't put on foot braces."
ReplyDeleteYup. Definitely. Also gives feet "rest" after school, on weekends, and all summer long.