Bar mitzvah attitude: It'll all be good

Last week, we went to the temple to practice for Max's bar mitzvah after he got home from school. He and his music teacher sang the first song. And then, he started crying. Turns out he was tired.

I know he'll be more alert on his big day–Sunday!—but who knows what will go down. I'm betting he won't have performance anxiety, since in recent years he's become a big ham (he might very well take a bow when he's done). At recent practices, his primary focus has been on adjusting the mic, to make sure he is completely heard.

At Tuesday night's run-through, Max was cool, calm and collected. He aced it. He even added a joke. Max had made up lyrics to a song we called "Thank You God!" about stuff for which he is grateful, sung to the tune of his favorite song, Fire Truck. When he got to the line "I can play with Ben and Sabrina" he shook his head and interjected "Not Sabrina!" She's been bugging him lately.

Max had his iPad on hand because he'll be saying his speech using his Proloquo2Go app. After the practice was done, Max unexpectedly grabbed his iPad and pressed the "Does anyone have any questions?" button. I laughed. If he does that on Sunday, well, what the hey. He'll answer questions! And sign autographs!

Meanwhile, Sabrina's taken the role of stage mom. At a recent practice she sat on the bench in front of the podium and kept mouthing to him "LOOK AT THE WORDS!" I had to tell her to stop and let him do his thing. (See: "Sabrina is bugging him lately"). 

Max has made his demands clear about how his bar mitzvah will go. Specifically:

• He will require hair gel.
• He would like to be driven to the bar mitzvah in Dave's car, just with Dave.
• He is going to make his entrance into the party room alone, wearing his fire truck hat. He may or may not pretend he is driving a fire truck.
• People aren't allowed to clap. We've agreed they can fist-pump and say "Woot! Woot!" and the DJ will let them know.
• He is game to get lifted up on a chair with arms during the traditional hora dance, but not too high. (I have formed a Max Lifting Committee and let them know.)
• He must have stuffed shells. And a piña colada. 
• His cake will have a photo of his favorite fire engine (of course).
• Also, he would like to have two bar mitzvahs.

Thankfully, Max did not inform me that I can't cry uncontrollably. Which I most definitely will; I can't even practice his speech without welling up. This is why I crowdsourced the best waterproof mascara on Facebook the other week. (Winner: CoverGirl LashBlast Fusion Mascara.) So, my money is on Max for holding it together on Sunday as I melt into a puddle of tears.

I know from experience that, no matter what, things may not go as planned. Max could decide not to sing one of the songs. Or he might decide that he's done before the ceremony's over, even though we've kept it short at about a half hour. Whatever happens, it'll all be good.

This is not a Broadway show; Max doesn't have to perform. As always, he will do what he can do to the best of his abilities and/or his mood. We will be surrounded by family and friends, people who understand Max and accept him for who he is.

I will be so proud of him, no matter what.

I hope he'll be really proud of himself, too.

And I will most definitely be having a pina colada with my big, grown, beautiful boy.