Non-news flash: I am sleep deprived, and getting desperate. This is because I truly enjoy being awake, and it would also come in handy for finalizing plans for Max's bar mitzvah (a mere FOUR WEEKS AWAY). Plus it would enable me to quit doing fuzzy-brained things such as driving to Staples then coming to a dead stop in the middle of the store because I've momentarily forgotten what I came there go get.
Ben continues to be a non-napping baby by day. You'd think that would make him sleep through the night at this point but, nooooooo. He's five months old and sticking with the all-night buffet plan.
Yes, it's time to sleep train Ben, only Dave and I were wimpy about it with Sabrina and Max and nothing's changed.
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| Longtime readers might recall when Dave and I tricked out Max's room to get the kids out of our bed; we put blow-up beds on the floor and told them they were "camping out." |
No advice but that picture of Max and Sabrina is precious! Look at that little face!
ReplyDeleteHi Ellen,
ReplyDeleteI have a 5 month old as well and we are planning on doing some "sleep learning" of our own in a few weeks. I heard the women who wrote "The Sleep Easy Solution" speak at an event when I was pregnant. Their method made a lot of sense to me both as a person who knew I wouldn't want to let my baby cry for 45 minutes and as someone with an in depth knowledge of child development (I'm a pediatric OT). The book is a quick read. The whole idea is teaching the baby to soothe themselves to sleep with loving, consistent support. And they have a method for weaning night feedings in the book as well. Good luck! I hope we both find something that works. A full night of sleep and reliable naps during the day sound like a dream!
"The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is the book that helped with both my non sleeping babies. Her ideas aren't a quick fix but they did help us get longer stretches of sleep. I also felt better reading that night waking babies are more normal than most people think'
ReplyDeleteGood luck. My youngest didn't sleep through the night until he was six and I paid him off with cold hard cash, and I don't think you want to wait for that solution.
ReplyDeleteI second the sleep easy solution. It does involve some crying but it only lasts a few nights. My baby went from waking up 5x a night to 1x and now sleeps 11-12 hours a night and naps are good too (however, I do give paci for naps which he didn't take until 5 months old). feel free to email me any questions.
ReplyDeleteIt's so normal, both my kids started sleeping throuout the night around 13 months old. Prior to that, they woked up 3 or 4 times a night. I never figured out why they stopped, they just did, one night they did not wake up and that was it. Have faith!
ReplyDeleteA warm bath might help (unless baths invigorate Ben). Good luck getting him to sleep.
ReplyDeleteNo tips on sleep training over here, babies have minds of their own! But, I know you had mentioned poor Ben had been struggling with some reflux issues, and as a person living with excess stomach acid and reflux myself, I can certainly offer some tips on more comfortable sleep while having these types of conditions. I wonder if that might be why he fusses at night or fights naps. Sleeping can be very uncomfortable with reflux for lots of reasons (did you know you don't really swallow when you sleep and that can make reflux symptoms worse?). I'm sure you've tried some of these things, but I thought I'd offer anyway. Maybe try having him sleep in a bouncy or car seat; the upright position might make him less uncomfortable. Try not to have him nap immediately after a big meal as he will be extremely uncomfortable as soon as he lies down. Also, it might sound silly, but some gentle circular pressure on his little tummy will probably soothe some of the symptoms once he does lie down and perhaps help him drift off. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThere's serious advice floating in cyberspace about NEVER letting your child sleep in a car seat. I think it was something about airway positioning.
DeleteBut a bouncer or the cut with the head slightly raised sounds great advice :)
I would work on the daytime schedule first: work toward a 2-3-4 schedule. Morning nap 2 hours after awake for the day, afternoon nap 3 hours after that, bed time 4 hours after that. Usually this works toward a 9:00 morning nap, a 2:00 pm afternoon nap, and a bedtime around 7:30. Some kids take a catnap at 4:00 or so. Ben might be the kind of kid that needs a lot of consistency. He might be an only nap in the crib with a sound machine kind of kid. Remember to include some kind of sensory experience (rocking, the same song, the sound machine) as a part of his bedtime routine. As for nights, we used a 10 minute pause for our second kid. If he was still complaining, we went to see what his problem was. :)Work toward comforting and putting him back down immediately. With our first kid, we didn't pause. He's still a need it now kind of person. I recommend the Baby Whisperer books. I didn't like Elizabeth Pantley's methods, as much as I wanted to. I felt like they involved more crying over a longer period of time.
ReplyDeleteI read up a LOT on sleep when my son was having issues (at age 3 he started waking up every day sometime around 4am). Your little guy may not be ready to sleep through the night...but he definitely needs his naps. Everything I've read says that while it sounds counter-intuitive, overtired kids have more trouble napping or sleeping through the night. It's like they start living on adrenaline. So addressing the nap issue might help with the night issue, although I know in my case all 3 of my kiddos did not sleep completely through the night until past 6 months. Have you tried a swing (even not moving) or bouncer with vibration on? My babies when they were little napped better that way. What about swaddling? Keep trying and be consistent. I think he's way overtired, just like you. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteAt 5 months, I was in 'whatever it takes' mode which included letting them sleep in bed with me AND letting them sleep in the swing (both transitioned to a crib just fine around 9 mos). At 1yr+, I sleep trained them to get rid of the remaining nighttime feeding. I did the Ferber method and it was super easy (like took 2 nights and 10min crying total) I think in part because they were older.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Deb on the need for naps and for some "daytime schedule"
ReplyDeleteSleep training is so tough, but we were going through a similar situation as you and just couldn't take it anymore. We sleep trained our son when he was 3 months old and it was one of the best things we've ever done! I was a wreck about the whole thing and read every sleep training book on the market...I finally decided to call in an expert. I worked with Natalie Willes from www.babysleeptrainer.com and she was fantastic. Her pricing is completely reasonable and she puts together a customized plan and schedule for your family. She works remotely via Face Time, Email and Phone and offers so much great support through the process. All the books I read were great, but I felt I really needed something specific to my child. The process did involve a little bit of the Cry It Out method...but honestly the first few nights are the worst and then he'll get the hang of it. Our son has never been a good napper, even after sleep training, but at least we get some relief at night. I hope this helps and if you have any questions at all I'm happy to answer them!
ReplyDeleteWe did the cry it out thing at seven months as I didn't have the heart to until then. Night one I told myself I would only let him cry 3-4 minutes as I could barely stand to hear it. He didn't cry even that long! I was kicking myself for not trying it sooner. He only ever cried more than five minutes if something was actually bugging him (needed new diaper, etc). I also agree with the sleeping with his head elevated advice, just make sure whatever he sleeps in is recommended for that. My guy hasn't been a baby in over ten years so I don't know the rules these days.
ReplyDeleteGot an odd one for you. I had this problem with one of mine, and brother, don't ask how long it took to figure it out! Do you nurse your little guy? One of mine was so sensitive to caffeine that if I even had a little bit she'd be awake for hours. Unhappy, and clearly in need of sleep, but not able to fall asleep. I tried to eliminate other foods first, figuring something I was eating might have been setting her off, but no luck. I realized one late night that the caffeine I was drinking to stay awake with her was probably keeping her up too, and so I didn't have any for about a day and then she actually slept! Not through the whole night, mind you, but a lot more hours at a stretch than she had been. After that I just skipped caffeine altogether until she was done with nursing (though I will admit to occasional chocolate indulgences, which she seemed ok with).
ReplyDeleteThe other thing we did with one of ours was back out of the room a bit more each night. So...night one, I'd be in a chair near the baby and be reading a book, essentially not paying attention to the little one, but there in case of any fussing. If there was any, I'd rock the crib or making shussing noises, but not take the baby out. Night two, same deal, only chair was now a few feet closer to the door. Same thing over the next few nights, with each night bringing me closer to the door and eventually to the chair being in the hallway outside the door, and then bit by bit further from the room. It took time but it worked for us, and didn't result in long bouts of baby screaming (I could never find a way to feel comfortable with the "let them cry" methods).
Hope this helps - good luck - Alyssa
I don't have any advice but that picture of little Max and Sabrina is adorable! How old are they in that? 5-6 and 3-4?
ReplyDeleteI wish I were closer, Ellen! I have always been able to make babies sleep; don't even know how, but I cannot keep a baby under 6 months awake for more than 15 minutes if I am walking and swaying them. ;-) Even older babies fell asleep on cue for me. Needless to say, I was in big demand as babysitter. If you ever vacation in Mississippi, drop Ben off and I will gladly get him to sleep. LOL Praying you find a good solution for your family and your sanity!
ReplyDelete