Every morning, I'm awoken by a kiss. Not from Dave—from Sabrina. She leans over our bed and plants one on my mouth. And like Sleeping Beauty (or the frizzy-haired mom version thereof), my spell is broken and I rise.
I am in good company, as I noticed the other day when Vanessa Lachey posted a photo on Instagram of husband Nick lip-kissing their two-year-old, Camden. Last year, Jessica Alba admitted to Redbook that she kisses her little girls on the mouth—and seemed surprised to learn that some parents don't do that. As she noted, "Really? Why?! It's your baby. People allow dogs to lick at their mouths."
I didn't kiss my kids on their lips when they were infants: Tots haven't yet built up bacterial and immune defenses and are particularly vulnerable to nasties you can catch from germs in saliva including colds, the flu, cold sores and even cavities. Besides. Max has always been about cheek kisses, and one of Sabrina's first phrases was "NO TISSES!" ("NO KISSES!"). I had to beg or bribe her for smooches. But as she got older and more affectionate, she liked to kiss me on the lips. Quick, little, absolutely delicious pecks.
We're a pretty kiss-y family, although Dave doesn't kiss the kids on the lips. (Neither one of us have parents who did.) Some people think dads doing that with older girls crosses the line, let alone adult ones. Earlier this month, when New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichik and his 30-year-old daughter Amanda locked lips after the Superbowl win, the Twitterverse exploded with people deeming it "super weird" and "creepy." My only thought was, I love that this big, burly tough guy isn't shy about showing the world how much he adores his daughter.
Sometimes, common sense gets ahold of me—especially during cold and flu season—and I'll offer a cheek or head off Sabrina's lips and go for her forehead. Or I'll put a hand over her mouth and kiss my hand, which makes her giggle. Usually, though, I can't resist those kisses: the expectant look on her face when she puckers up, how she grasps both my cheeks with her hands, the tenderness of her little lips, the subsequent demand of "More!"
I'm not going to apologize for this kissing habit. Childhood passes too quickly, and for me these kisses are one of its sweetest pleasures. If kissing my kid on the mouth is one of my worst crimes as a mom, I can live with that...and love it.
Image of Belichik: WCVB
Every family has different ways of showing affection and this is yours.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with it i think it's adorable as long as nobody gets sick.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was little, my Dad's side (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) all kissed on the lips, while my mom's side (she was an only child) was grossed out by this. So I just learned to go with the flow.
ReplyDeleteI think it's gross to kiss your kid on the lips -- it just gives me the heeby-jeebies and I refused to do it as a kid (& don't subject my kids to it).
ReplyDeleteBut I also get that lots of people think lip kissing kids is delightful and they are certainly entitled to subject their kids to it. Yay, free country!
I'm not much of a kisser. I'm a hugger, but, even then, I tend to avoid physical contact when I can. I associate lip-kissing with romantic love (as do many others), so I avoid it unless I love someone in that way (not interested in dating, don't want drama and heartbreak). Lip kissing, no matter its purpose, can be easily taken the wrong way. My mom gives me a quick cheek peck behind closed doors and that's about it.
ReplyDeleteIm not interested in dating either Anna! Yay for teens not wanting to date!
DeleteYes! It's better to be forever alone than forever with the wrong person!!
DeleteThe Nick Lachey picture makes me smile but the Bill Belichik creeped me out.The only way I get any kind of kisses from my four year old is if he puckers up and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. My six year old gives me big slobbery kisses on the cheek. I kiss their cheeks or foreheads, but usually, the older one wipes them away. :\
ReplyDeleteLove is love, and the more of it is shown the better XXX
ReplyDeleteI never thought about this, truth be told. I certainly kiss Ez on the lips if she will let me...sometimes she initiates this which is a big deal (the first time was after I came back from a trip). I think I kissed my mom on the lips until I was a teenager. My family is very physically affectionate, which I love! Ez responds in extremes to affection--I think it has to do with her exerting her independence. So, I try to read her and respect her boundaries, but I'm all for as much affection as she'll let me give to show her how very loved she is.
ReplyDeleteEvery family is different. With our son we did lip smooches up until around age 3 or 4, and then switched to cheeks. Agree with the above commenter that the Lachey pic is adorable and appropriate in my eyes but the belichik one feels different. I think my internal logic is that if kids are old enough to be kissing other people on the mouths then they shouldn't be kissing their parents that way too. But that's my only my own personal opinion. (And no I didn't want my son to be kissing other people at age 3/4, that was just the age that we drew our own comfort line).
ReplyDeleteI can not kiss my kids enough! Sometimes it's on the mouth, but mostly anywhere on their faces is good for me.
ReplyDeleteKissing your kids on the lips is bad?!? I never knew. My parents still go for full lip kisses on me, and I'm 37. I kiss both of my kids on the lips, except my 7-yo boy has started sticking out his tongue when I kiss him so lately I've been trying to get just to the side or below the lips. The things you learn from the interwebzes...
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