Quiz: Which of these didn't happen on our vacation?

Which of the following didn't happen on our vacation last week? Here's a little pop quiz; the winner gets my kids for the whole summer. Wheeee!

• We visited four different fire houses.

• These words were uttered: "Max! Daddy is eating a crab and it's DEAD!"

• Max wore his Fireman Max hat everywhere except to bed, and introduced himself to everyone as "Fireman Max." If anyone just called him "Max" (including Dave, me or Sabrina), he corrected them.

• These words were also uttered: "Eeee a oooh-ie NOW" ["I need a smoothie NOW!"]

• We went to a Converse outlet and Max kept bringing over shoes to Sabrina to see if she liked them or not. Then he offered to buy her a pair, but we pointed out that he does not own a credit card.

• Max started peeing standing up and stayed dry overnight twice in a row. Then when we got home, he asked if he could pee on the front lawn.  

• Fireman Max suckered Daddy into taking him out to breakfast practically every single morning. Hint:

• We lost both keys to our hotel room.

• Max got rejected from a kids program for having special needs. (Hint.)

• We saw dolphins frolicking on the shoreline.

• Max went cruising on a race track and declared himself the winner. Hint:

• Dave decided it was fun to dress Max in mismatched outfits like striped shirts and camo shorts. Or, actually, he didn't consciously make that decision, it just happened, but it was cool that he dressed him.

• We had to make an emergency run to Office Depot one morning after the Fireman Max label on Fireman Max's hat got wet. Hint:

• One day, the kids had ice-cream for every single meal.

• A policeman offered Max an official policeman cap and Max informed him that actually, he was going to be a firefighter, so no thanks.

Answer: We didn't lose both keys we were given to a hotel room, we only lost one.

OK, who gets my kids for the summer?