Max screeches, loudly. It literally makes my heart beat faster. You know that scene in Monsters, Inc. in which Boo screams so loudly after Mike snatches her teddy bear from her it makes the lights flicker?
Yeah, that.
The screeching used to go on for ten to fifteen minutes at a time, mostly when Max was tired or having a sensory meltdown. He'd do it anywhere. Now he only screeches at home and they're shorter and more pointed, though just as charmingly ear-splitting. They're usually in reaction to his hearing something he doesn't want to hear. (As in, "No, you can't watch Despicable Me 2 a second time.") My instincts have been to try and calm Max down, because that is what I am used to doing: helping him, as best I can.
Finally, I had a conversation with Max's pediatric neurologist about the screeching. He's both wise and realistic, a winning combination in a doctor. "Break the cycle by doing the opposite of what he wants," he told me. "If you stand there and listen to him screech, he's getting the reaction he's seeking. So the next time it happens, simply say 'thirty seconds,' leave the room and come back in thirty seconds. If it happens again, increase the time—say 'one minute,' leave the room then come back when time is up."
No need to explain anything or further engage. I just needed to leave.
Radical.
I've been trying this, and I've had some success. I've had to go up to five minutes, but the screeching peters out. Sometimes Max follows me out of the room and keeps yelling, and I'll duck into the bathroom or just not engage or make eye contact. He gets so amused by my attempts to ignore him that he starts giggling. Not exactly how this is supposed to work, but it works.
Parenthood: You never stop learning, do you?
Image of Boo: Screen grab, Monsters, Inc.
My Bear does that, we call it "the siren":). I love this perspective.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ellen. I really like that strategy and may need to apply that to Fayth. She doesn't do the screaming, but a grunting. We have tried all different tactics, but not this.
ReplyDeleteWell, you can't laugh and screech at the same time, right? Max, you always awe me! Ellen.. rockin' it as always!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the world of behavioural science. So many people think "ABA" is about changing your child through rigid drills; it isn't. Most of the science of applied behavioural analysis involves changing what YOU do, The Parent/Caregiver/Therapist. When you are part of an intensive behaviour pattern, it is very difficult to see the way out of it. Most observable behaviour is like an iceberg, with the reasons for it well below the surface. No one on the Titanic really cared how big that iceberg was when they were up to their necks in icy cold rushing water.
ReplyDeleteSo it takes an outsider to observe, or listen to your observations. By changing the antecedent or in this case, the consequence, you have altered the communicative power of that behaviour.
It would be a good idea to take some data on how often it occurs, while continuing to ignore it. Draw the letters A, B, and C on an A4 page. Write what happened before and after in the A & C columns which describe the antecedents and consequences. Often by the time you have filled one side of that page, you can see what the person is trying to communicate. You can also see how effective that behaviour has been by how you have behaved when it happened.
I like to then identify whether we can teach a better way to get the same outcome - or go on ignoring it if it simply isn't negotiable. (this is called Putting a Behaviour on Extinction, you just pay ZERO attention to it when it occurs)
With regard to Despicable Me; repetition of a movie is very comforting to someone who is living in a world that seems to change too much. Its also a great way to pick up language as the people speaking in a DVD movie say the same things, the same way, with the same intonation and prosody, so it is easier to understand. If you are concerned about obsessions, use it! Pairing as much as possible with an obsession while taking an interest in it yourself is a great way to teach.
I "script" with my son about his movies so he gets to practice his pronouns, volume, tenses you name it - it is easy to bring up and model correctly if you are walking around the park together while he tells you yet again who starred in the Muppet Show.
xx
I have worked many years in a school setting....I am going to try this if a situation presents itself
ReplyDeleteEllen....
ReplyDeleteI have been absent from Blogging for awhile as I've been overcoming a wrenched right knee. Although it is hurting at the moment, at least I can now sit at this flat-screened desktop computer sans any leg discomfort!! I. Am. Resilient!! ;-D
"Finally, I had a conversation with Max's pediatric neurologist about the screeching. He's both wise and realistic, a winning combination in a doctor. 'Break the cycle by doing the opposite of what he wants,' he told me. 'If you stand there and listen to him screech, he's getting the reaction he's seeking. So the next time it happens, simply say 'thirty seconds,' leave the room and come back in thirty seconds. If it happens again, increase the time—say 'one minute,' leave the room then come back when time is up.'. No need to explain anything or further engage. I just needed to leave.". That makes sense!! By ignoring Max's screeching sessions, you are doing what that parents of a tantrum-throwing toddler might!! Good luck!! And, have you got any good earplugs? For Dave and Sabrina, as well? ;)
--Raelyn
Whoops!!
DeleteBy ignoring Max's screeching sessions, you are doing what parents of a tantrum-throwing toddler might!!
My sentence did not need a "that"!! ;-}
One of my students does that screech when another student is crying and then, if you're watching closely, you can see the student does a little giggle - knowingly inciting a riot!
ReplyDeleteEllen, we found exactly the same thing with Miss 10's meltdowns. When I left her carer with her and removed myself from the room, they stopped. So instead of me trying to calm her through the meltdowns we came up with the tactic that the carer takes her and I try and reassure my 7 year old that all is ok. Result? Nearly no meltdowns. And here was me after nearly 11 years on this special needs parenting gig thinking I was beginning to understand what I was doing!! They keep up on their toes don't they?
ReplyDeleteMichelle from Australia
This sounds like the same advice I have received from my daughter's ABA therapist--don't do anything that reinforces undesirable behaviors. I have to say it is easier said than done. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI do the same with hate comments about my flute playing.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely not easy but Kyle's ABA Therapist had me do the same thing so that I would not reinforce the crying/tantrum/screaming behavior. And yes, my blood pressure rises when he does his "screaming"!
ReplyDelete