Unsubstantiated reports are widely circulating that the head of a special needs mom has exploded.
At the scene of the incident, in a local Michaels store, bystanders were shocked to see an astounding amount of information shooting out of the head including contact info for dozens of doctors, therapists, sitters and the special needs school district coordinator; her child's weekly schedule of therapies; data from seven years' worth of IEPs; insurance policy numbers, the claim P.O. box address and all the bills she'd submitted but hadn't gotten reimbursed for; the longest to-do list in the history of mankind; an equally long list of stuff she never did get around to; assorted medical jargon; details about developmental milestones she read in those "What To Expect" books years ago before she forced herself to stop reading those books; names of various adaptive programs; special needs financial planning tasks she was in denial about; a list of exercises the therapists recommended she try with her child; a list of apps the therapists recommended she download; a list of products the therapists recommended she buy; a pervasive vague feeling she'd forgotten to fill out an important form; volumes of guilt; various memorized recipes from Lipton soup boxes; plus the phone number of her best friend from third grade.
"She was standing there in the aisle mumbling something about finding a chunky kind of crayon recommended by the occupational therapist when her head exploded," said a bystander. "Nobody could believe it but then we figured it was maybe some kind of store promotion."
The body continued to function, reaching for a cell phone to dial in a prescription refill. It then wandered off toward the modeling clay aisle.
Authorities are still investigating the matter.
Image: istock/Obaba
Love this, Ellen. Yup, been there, done that. Thanks for a good laugh this morning. (Definitely including this post in my March monthly round-up of what I loved on other people's blogs!)
ReplyDeleteSo great to know it's not only me! Hope your week goes well.
ReplyDeleteLucas
www.abstractLucas.blogspot.co.uk
I'm not even a mom and my head is about to explode looking at that list.
ReplyDeleteYup.....I spent 20 minutes last night in bed mumbling about needing to call someone about some appointment but couldn't remember who. Somehow I remembered it at 2:16am and woke myself up. Yeah, a lot of good that did me at that time of night!
ReplyDeleteDarn, I didn't know there were pictures of my head exploding! Glad I am not the only one :)
ReplyDeleteyup. been there. usually in Stop and Shop. I hear cookies make it better.
ReplyDeleteLOVE! I tell my kids "Mom's head is going to explode," just about every other day. Glad it finally made the news. :-D
ReplyDeleteThis is, by FAR!!!!!, my favorite blog post EVER (this month). And you know me, I don't overuse exclamation points or all caps that much unless I REALLY mean it. HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!! And sadly, so true.
ReplyDeleteLove it! That's so me...
ReplyDeleteI use to read your blog almost everyday and your creativity still amazes me :)
Thanks always need a good laugh. Not too many moms get the laugh of having a special needs child.
ReplyDeleteWell at least according to the illustration, she's still smiling.
ReplyDeleteMy running to-do list has been a bit shorter since we transferred from E.I. at home to preschool - but it's still there, forming a constant chant in my brain.
I've always wondered if my head would do that if I had to shove just one more piece of info into it.
ReplyDeleteNow I know...
HaHa this is hilarious! Mainly because its oh so very very true! Thanks for a good dose of laughter, the best medicine around : )
ReplyDeleteSpot on :D
ReplyDeleteWOW, I cannot believe someone actually SAW me do this and reported it!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMine has reached explosion levels yet, but it has been spinning for months now. Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to read this and the comments and know that mine is not the only exploding head! Thanks for the laugh, for getting it, and describing it so well Ellen!
ReplyDeleteFantastic! Perfect description. It's amazing how much we store up there.
ReplyDeleteLoved this and shared it... Hysterically and sadly spot-on!!
ReplyDeleteReally this is not a new phenomenon but oh so cleverly illustrated here. I giggled the first time and then belly laughed the second time I read it, knowing all too well the way one feels when about to explode and the relief afterwards as a little pressure has escaped. Wish others "got" this, and stop asking questions like, "so aren't you exhausted?" when I am about to BLOW!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely awesome blog!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's a miracle we are all still functioning!
ReplyDeleteI just saw this via a FB share and love it! I can so relate! :)
ReplyDeleteNow I know what to say the next time I get one of those "I don't know how you do its" ..."Well, did you hear about that accident on the interstate the other day? That was my head exploding as I drove to the hospital for the 5,291st time this year."