Looking at life from the bright side up... plus, happiness giveaway!

Ever have a coworker who was irrepressibly upbeat, cool, funny and totally real, no matter how hectic things got? Amy Spencer is one of those people. We worked together at Glamour.

See? Happy!

It wasn't really a surprise, then, to find out she'd written a book about happiness: Bright Side Up: 100 Ways To Be Happier Right Now, out this week. It's a super-interesting read, but you also get a whole lot of good, practical ideas out of it from Amy and the many women and experts she spoke with. One of the tips I particularly loved: Ask your 100-year-old self. If you're struggling to make a decision, imagine yourself as a wise old chick and ask that person what you should do. As Amy writes, "Your 100-year-old self will be gentle and kind, but will also be the voice of conviction, strength and fearlessness you might have forgotten you have inside you." (Note: Do not picture how you will look when you're 100, or you will not feel very happy.)

Because she's nice like that, Amy offered to do a guest post. Read on, then get a chance to win some happiness—as in, her book!

I’m not a parent, but I want to be. As it turns out, I have a genetic condition that’s made it difficult for me to have a healthy pregnancy. And while I can’t fix my issue, I’ve been doing all I can to up my odds over the past four years: I’ve been getting acupuncture, drinking a terrible-tasting tea and tonic a few times a day, and avoiding caffeine, dairy, cold food, gluten, and more. 

At first, I was consumed and depressed by how unfair my situation felt. But thinking about the bad stuff was only making me feel, well, bad. So I started looking for something positive I could focus on. The new diet—when I have the strength to stick to it—makes me feel lighter, healthier and stronger. And while I don’t love laying on a table with needles sticking out of me, it’s like a forced spell of stillness and rest in an otherwise busy day. And of course there’s the hope: that all this effort won’t be for naught.

It’s easy for people to feel bogged down by life’s bad moments. And there are plenty of ‘em. But there are also bright parts of every day, and those are important to note, too. Because happiness isn’t necessarily what’s happening to us, but how we see and feel about what’s happening to us. How we look at our situation can make a big difference in how we feel about it.

When my friend Betsy's son Tom was a baby and not meeting any developmental milestones, she said she isolated herself from the mommy crowd. “I couldn't deal with people talking about their kids’ advancements and playgroups because I wasn't having the same experience as everyone else,” she told me. So, she stepped back and did her own thing. And by not exposing herself to reminders of all the stuff he couldn’t do, she said she was able to focus and celebrate more on what he could. “I remember when Tom was over two and not walking yet, my mom said, ‘Someday we’ll be glad we got extra time to snuggle with him, because eventually he won’t want to.’ And you know what? I am glad I got extra time to snuggle with him, because now he is 11 and five feet tall and doesn’t want to snuggle.”

Among the bad, there is good. Maybe you need to hold a microscope over life to find it some days but it is there. Even if you have to put it on mega-magnification to find it! Like Betsy said, “One day I was reading a book about these women struggling in Afghanistan, and I said to my friend, ‘At least we live in America. When we flip the light switch, the lights go on. Every time.’”

So if you’re noticing a lot of bad stuff, actively seek out the good. Find one thing to feel positive about. What smart, cute thing has your child done today? What’s so them you love them to bits for it? Or what might you look back on and appreciate years from now about your time together today? Maybe it’s their funny giggle, a big bear hug, a small step forward, or a moment of calm together in a rough day. Maybe it’s a reminder of how lucky you are to have your little one in your life every day.

For me, as I work through my own personal struggle, that’s where happy is, in focusing on the small good things. Easier said than done? Absolutely. But when you find something you can feel truly happy about, it’s worth all the effort to try.

Thanks again to Amy for a great guest post. Now, a book giveaway! To enter to win one of three copies of Bright Side Up, just leave a comment about what your idea of happiness is. Note, if your email is not visible on your blog, you must leave it here. This giveaway is open until Wednesday, February 15 at 11:59 p.m EST. I'll randomly select three winners via random.org, contact them and announce them here.   


Update: The winners are KarenP, Clara and Melissa. Enjoy the book, may it bring you extra bliss.