I walked in the door last night feeling like my head was about to fall off. I'd worked all day, hadn't spoken to the kids, had a pileup of emails, had a headache, had to get going on these new oral-motor exercises a therapist recommended for Max to help control the drooling that I've put off for weeks, had a phone call from Sabrina on the ride home in which she sobbed "I NEED YOU TO BE HERE NOW TO DO MY HOMEWORK WITH ME!" and then the train went into a tunnel and she got cut off and I thought, man, she is going to someday require therapy for that.
Deep breathing never helps when I feel like this at the end of a day. Pinot Grigio, somewhat. Going to sleep early is usually the best remedy. But I couldn't, I had work to do and laundry, too (in case you missed the video, I am the only person in my marriage on intimate terms with our washer and dryer).
The kids were upstairs with the babysitter, and I had a few minutes to regroup. A Post-it note I'd stuck up on a kitchen cabinet the other week caught my eye.
Sabrina had written it, I didn't even remember why. It said:
"Today was a good day for me."
And I thought, well, today was actually kind of crappy for me BUT if I could just think like a kid, maybe it wouldn't seem so bad. Kids don't think about the not-so-good stuff that happens during their day and recount it for you when you come home. No, they are psyched to share the awesome—the thermometer or purple painting they made in class, playing with their best friend at recess, the birthday kid who brought in ice-cream for everyone, a cool new website.
So I made myself think about the good parts of the day: cuddling with Max in bed this morning as he kept saying "NO OOOOL! NO OOOOL!" ["NO SCHOOL!"], Sabrina letting me choose her top to wear to school (seriously, she considers it an honor), doing a crossword puzzle on my commute, catching up with a friend from my last job, sushi for lunch (you may not know this about me but I am part woman, part tuna), a green light for a blog project I'd been hoping would happen.
The headache was still there, but as I stood in the kitchen zoning out in front of Sabrina's Post-it, I felt better. I saw the glass as half full—half full of Pinot Grigio, because you can bet I had some after the kids were asleep. I may have the occasional flash of self-help awareness but Tony Robbins, I'm not.
Meanwhile, I'm thinking today will be a good day for me.
What helps you on those crappy days?
Usually what really helps is looking back and see how far we have come. While on some days it feels like we are never making any progress - we really are, and remembering that helps to get through not-so-good days. Well, that and red wine, of course. ;)
ReplyDeleteI keep a gratitude journal and whenever I'm having a bad day I look at it and remember all the things I have to be grateful for. Today was a good day for me I started at my job/business I manage people's social media.
ReplyDeleteOh I've had a few crappy days in a row. Pinot helps and crappy TV goes a long way too :)
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping we both have good days today!
~ Lisa
White zin, trashy TV, a good book, chocolate. Not necessarily in that order. Don't you love the Working Mom Guilt? Noah said, "I prefer days when you don't work." to me the other day. Me too, kid. Me too.
ReplyDeleteRed wine. Going to bed early (seriously, my New Year's Goal is to stay up after the kids are in bed). All those Hey Girl posts (Ryan Gosling) pictures always make me laugh. Hulu and Netflix, occasionally, if I'm still up--but only for funny/adventure television/movies--NO DRAMAS b/c I feel like my life has enough of it, n'est-ce pas?
ReplyDeleteFirst, I totally agree that we should try to view things like kids do - be happy and don't get upset about too much. But, of course, that is easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteMy sweet daughter Margo always makes me happy. When I call to check in on her during the day, she always wants to talk to me and she says "Mommy will be home soon" and then she sends me a kiss over the phone. Then, when I get home, I am greeted with a huge smile, hug and kiss, which always seems to almost erase anything bad that may have happened during the day.
Sneaking into my son's room to watch him sleep and marveling at the innocence in his face. Somehow, it always reminds me that I have so much good in my life.
ReplyDeleteHave you heard about The Work by Byron Katie?? It doesn't always help but it does sometimes. You ask yourself questions about what you're thinking like "Is it true?, Do I know it's absolutely true?, who would I be if I didn't think that way right now?, etc."
ReplyDeleteMy worker is saying also white wine, reading, yoga and writing emails to someone you trust (and knowing they don't have to write you back but they were listening).
Bourbon for me! Pino grigio is my backup. Like Miri, I try to remember how far he's come and that he's running in a different race. Plus, my son has a very optimistic spirit and I try to remind myself that he works much harder than me to get through the day.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love this post! So timely for me too. Like so many others who have commented already, red wine and trashy TV help me. But my absolute favorite time of the day is also going in and checking on the boys as they are sleeping. It just melts my heart and I can go to sleep peacefully.
ReplyDeleteOh, I also watch my kids as they sleep. I stare at their faces, stroke their cheeks, kiss them, marvel over how amazingly angelic (and younger-looking) they seem when they are asleep. I've tried to capture it on video, but it's so grainy.
ReplyDeleteI am going to have to put some of the other ideas into practice! Like, BOURBON! Tooner, I will have to check out The Work, sounds great.
Nisha, congrats on your new job—that's a perfect one for you!!!
Love, love, love this post. :)
ReplyDelete