Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My name is Ellen and I steal Cheez Doodles from my son


Recently, I polished off the Cheez Doodles the speech therapist uses for Max's feeding therapy. Evidently, I am not alone in stealing food from my child's mouth (not to mention his developing oral-motor skills) because when I admitted my sins on Facebook, other moms chimed in: "My name is Kate and I steal Veggie Straws from my poor, special needs son (who hates them anyway, so there)." Also: "It's mom therapy. I'm sitting here munching on potty reward M&Ms."

More confessions:

• I've been meaning to organize a discussion between Max's three speech therapists...for three months now.
• I haven't been putting on his night braces every single night.
• He's been wearing this girl purple sweater because I couldn't find a boy one.
• I still forget to leave home without the EpiPen.
• We are at the opposite point of potty training—more like potty fleeing—and I am not pushing it as much as I could.
• Max continues to crash in our bed in the middle of the night, and I like it.
• But I am really tired of purple.

Whew! That felt good.

In the name of group therapy, what sort of special needs mom confessions do you have to make? No judgment here!
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30 comments:

  1. tesyaaNovember 30, 2011 at 7:37 AM

    Sigh... I tell the babysitter to limit my son's DVD time, but as soon as she leaves I let him watch for an hour.

    ReplyDelete
  2. tulpenNovember 30, 2011 at 7:54 AM

    I swear profusely around and about my Deaf son.

    Sometimes I don't check to see if the coast is clear of his Hearing sister.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 8:04 AM

    My 5 year old sleeps on mattress on the floor of my bedroom. Since he has been on the floor everyone is finally sleeping - I'm sure I should be working on a transition for him to sleep in his own room but there is a deficit in my sleep bank and I'm not interested in increasing it. Also I ate all the cheez doodles that were in the house last week AND I stole candy from his halloween bucket. ssshhhh

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kris-AnnNovember 30, 2011 at 8:36 AM

    I JUST posted about something similar last night! I sometimes can't stand my son's behavior...and feel really badly about it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. nonyeNovember 30, 2011 at 8:52 AM

    I sometimes choose to "forget" to do my daughter's therapy, choosing instead to read something on the internet. And oh, wearing those splints!! Hm..

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ellen SeidmanNovember 30, 2011 at 9:26 AM

    Oh, the splints! I will join in that confession, Max doesn't wear them as much as he should. Tesyaa, Max has been known to watch the same Cars clip on YouTube 20 times in a row. And Kris-Ann, when Max screeches, it makes me want to run screeching from the room. Generally he is a happy camper but the sound of his screeches could be used to torture prisoners.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    I should be doing school work with my son and practicing his ASL flash cards. Instead, I'm on here and on Facebook. I have no clue where his glasses are and I really really miss being able to eat almonds and pistachios( he's allergic). Also having to repeat myself a bazillion times when he has his hearing aids in and I know they are working gets on my last nerve. Sometimes I get candy from the store when the kids are with me, and no I don't share.

    ReplyDelete
  8. NancyNovember 30, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    You just reminded me that I forget to do his oral motor exercises and I haven't been putting his hip brace every single night either

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  9. NancyNovember 30, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    Oh and we haven't been on top of the sign language either :/

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sherry CNovember 30, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    We take sick days just because sometimes!!! Skip swimming therapy so mom can go to book club. It really is hard to do it all, I'm very keen on the potty training but Ashley is 6 and we been doing this for 4 years now and some days I'm not following thru like I should. But we will keep that our little secret..hehe you and I all your readers.

    ReplyDelete
  11. StimeyNovember 30, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    This is maybe my favorite post ever in life. There is so much guilt in parenting--even more so with the extra responsibilities that come with our kids.

    I have a secret goodies stash that my kids don't know about. I sometimes play on my phone instead of directing all my attention to helping them with homework. I bribe my kids with promises of video games, which is as much a reward for me as for them.

    That felt good. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. RebeccaNovember 30, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    A piece of my sons leg brace broke off and I did a sort of 'fix up' to make it wearable again......I never once considered calling the orthotist because I kinda like the way his brace is now...broken. I'm hoping to persuade the doctor that this way is better and a new brace script to be written.


    And, I don't change the sock on his braced foot daily. Sometimes, it's every 3 days. This makes me feel terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  13. tracy ericaNovember 30, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    Guilty too! I let my son watch tv...when I should be studying but end up on here...my point is I do one on one feedings...walking with him etc..he's in school all day which means no tv...and when he has no tv..he gets mean..and will chase you around until you either get bitten or you give in....I try to work with him but he's like this is me time go away mommy!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jennifer K.November 30, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    My son has braces on his teeth (he is 8 and we are on the third year of these blasted braces.) I usually am so exhausted from his multiple violent meltdowns and constant screaming for food (he is bipolar and has Prader-Willi syndrome) and so relieved when he is finally tired enough to go to sleep, that I sometimes put him to bed without brushing his teeth. After he is settled down I use the 20 minutes it would have taken to get him to comply with the toothbrushing to sneak something with lots of sugar in it (which he is not allowed to have) and just sit and eat it and stare at the wall. I also get frustrated with him at times when I know I should have infinite patience and that just sets him off more. Whew.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 5:02 PM

      I'm 13 and hate it when the brackets cut my mouth.

      Delete
  15. MichelleNovember 30, 2011 at 10:46 AM

    Thanks to all of you who shared so much of the same guilt i feel. I think that i have to be supermom with infinite patience- and i'm not.I'm human and i get frustrated with potty fleeing as one mom put it so well. I dread therapy and seeing my son get so sad and frustrated that i've skipped sessions too.

    ReplyDelete
  16. MomttorneyNovember 30, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    I too just posted something similar.

    http://mysammieb.blogspot.com/2011/11/picture-me-imperfectly-confessions-of.html

    My confessions in a nutshell -

    I don't push hard enough on self-feeding. I give in and feed Sammie B too often.

    I'm not pushing potty training and I'm terrified of it.

    I let Sammie B watch too much TV, and I constantly struggle with that "I should be working with her," feeling. I JUST WANT TO BE MOM, not therapist. She's amazing at table top type things and learning things and I WANT to give her time to do that (I'd much rather be doing that with her than working on PT stuff too!) but at the same time, I KNOW we have to do therapies at home too. It's a constant balancing act, and I hate that part of this SN journey.

    ReplyDelete
  17. WantapeanutNovember 30, 2011 at 11:28 AM

    I should be doing brushing therapy three times a day every day. But I don't.

    I should be using visual schedules to reinforce all our routines at home. But I don't.

    Potty training currently exists of having a potty icon "available." I could be doing SO MUCH more!

    And my typical daughter gets way more ipad/TV time than I ever would admit to :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. hflifemomNovember 30, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    Bless me father for I have sinned:

    I'm tired and I don't read to my son every night.

    I let him get mesmerized on his DS so that I don't have to act out Ben 10 episodes with him.

    ReplyDelete
  19. JennyNovember 30, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    Hi my name is Jenny and I don't put my son Carter's arm brace on at night because he hates it and I don't want to listen to him cry. When his PT asks me I tell her that he wears it every night.

    I leave Mason (Carter's twin) in his crib during nap time even if he isn't sleeping. He doesn't cry or anything, just refuses to nap. But Carter is napping and I need a break so he stays in his crib - sometimes for 2 hours. I feel guilty, like I should get him up and do therapy with him but I don't have the energy.

    I let the boys watch too many movies during the winter when we can't go outside.

    Mason eats like a champ but sometimes I bribe Carter to finish his dinner by offering him a cookie.

    Ahhhh, I feel better now.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Searching for Grace November 30, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    This is fantastic!!

    Okay here goes:

    I cancelled all doctor appointments for the entire month of December because with two children with special needs, this mommy was really really tired!

    Sometimes, if we aren't expecting anyone to come by we stay in our jammies all day long!

    My daughter heard my say a really bad word. Then she repeated it. She has continued to repeat it ALOT!
    Luckily she has a speech issue, so all anyone ever hears is :crazy bird!"

    ReplyDelete
  21. ilyssaNovember 30, 2011 at 10:24 PM

    After a morning of therapy and an afternoon of preschool (and my being at work while little man is at preschool), I pretty much let him veg in front of the computer for sometimes over an hour. I rationalize that he's eating when he's playing and since eating is such an issue, I'm doing a good thing. In reality, I'm just taking some downtime and vegging in front of my laptop right next to him. And the worst part, sometimes I do this during parts of the less stressful, less busy weekend days too. It's not terribly cathartic to admit it...but it felt too gluttonous to read all the others and not confess my own. Glad I'm not alone.

    ReplyDelete
  22. ShannonNovember 30, 2011 at 10:43 PM

    You guys are fantastic! I started eating the Cheetos (no Doodles for Ben) felt guilty so we all had them for dinner! We have given up and have at least one dinner and a movie night a week, and I have had a script for new AFO's and social work clipped to my fridge for 2 months that I can't seem to make appt's for because we are too flipping busy keeping other appointments.
    I got so tired of fighting to stretch that I make Ben ask me now, I told him that I was sick of feeling guilty about his body and it was his turn. He doesn't ask as much as I'd like, but I don't feel so guilty (I see mass PT in our future).
    I totally let Ben trick or treat knowing full well he wouldn't touch anything but the bag of pretzels he got. Nerds are good!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Bea, OTNovember 30, 2011 at 10:49 PM

    Yes, I'm guilty too! I'm an OT, but I don't follow my own treatment plan everyday. I don't want to be a therapist all the time either.

    I can't believe I'm letting my 8 mos old son watch youtube videos! I swore no TV till 2! What was I thinking?

    We only do a full bath once a week. I feel like I ran a marathon afterwards! Sponge baths must do for now.

    This was so cathartic! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  24. saraNovember 30, 2011 at 11:22 PM

    At this point, I just let her drink the bath water. And I choose the auto-repeat button on the Barney DVD on weekend mornings...the button they might as well call the Bad Parent button. And I give her a bib full of animal crackers in the car while I run in to the store for a quick minute. I can put her to bed at 5:30 if I want and she'll go to sleep - occasionally, I do this.

    ReplyDelete
  25. NishaDecember 1, 2011 at 6:04 AM

    Wow Ellen you're not a saint after all this is worse than when I found out that the tooth fairy wasn't real LOL :)


    I will be in India from the 8 December to 31 December and in case I don't pop in before I leave I would like to wish the Love That Max family happy holidays and a very happy new year.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ellen SeidmanDecember 1, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    Thanks Nisha, same to you (and sorry to burst your bubble). And thanks to all of you perfectly imperfect moms out there, like me, for sharing! We should do this more often; I don't know about you but by next week I will surely have a whole new slate of sins!

    ReplyDelete
  27. ilyssaDecember 1, 2011 at 11:12 AM

    ooo...I forgot that sometimes, when my husband gets home, I pretend I have to go to the bathroom to get 5 minutes of quiet alone time reading a magazine. :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. MelissaDecember 1, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    I'm a terrible therapy mom. There are lots of days that Signing Time is her therapy. The horns and chewy tube stay tucked away. I used to steal her Veggie Straws too, but then I discovered Pirates Booty and the Straws are safe once again.

    ReplyDelete
  29. UnknownDecember 20, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    Whenever I eat cheese puffs, my mom gets some for herself.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for sharing!