Thursday night, Dave and Max headed off to the cub scout meeting, held at a local church.
How's it going?, I texted Dave about 20 minutes later.
Dave: So far too scared to go inside
Me: Tell him they will be coloring with purple!
Dave: Will they?
Me: Prob not, but maybe it will coax him to go inside. I know, evil.
Dave: OK, will try
Dave: He's not having any, but will try another time
Me: Don't leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave: Will try not to
Dave: OK, he is a bit interested now
Me: What is he doing?
Me: Maybe give him a shot of vodka?
Me: Kidding
Dave: Walking around
Dave: I need one
Me: Is he inside or outside?
Me: What are the cub scouts doing? Could the leader maybe come out and meet Max?
Dave: Inside
Dave: OK, going home
And that was that.
I wasn't disappointed, not at all. Because I knew there was a good chance Max would be intimidated, and because I've learned not to set my hopes high for things like this. I was excited Max hung around a little bit, testing the waters. I was psyched that he did not screech at the top of his lungs and run out of there like demons had possessed him, as he has done in similar situations. This is progress.
Turns out the cub scout leader had told us to come to the pack meeting, which had dozens of kids, instead of the regular den meeting (which is just going to be 8 to 10 kids). So we'll try the smaller, kinder get-together next week. Though it would not be appropriate to send Dave along with a flask of vodka.
he'll get there (remember summer camp?) I think the den meeting sounds more Max's style - maybe a home visit with the leader and some cubs might help to acclimatise him - just a thought...
ReplyDeleteSounds like a cautious introduction is the way to go with him? the smaller group is definitely a lot less intimidating...even from an adult's point of view. I use to HATE the pack meetings (or was it den/ the bigger group).
ReplyDeleteYep the den meeting will probably be better as this will be the group he will be with for his entire Cub Scout career (for the most part). My son was a bit nervouse at the first meeting and he freaked out when they did the flag folding but now he loves it-he is in his 3rd year. Just take it slow and if he really is freaked out by it then you deal with it as it comes along. And for what its worth, I dont really care for the den meetings either.
ReplyDeleteOh, that sweet thing.
ReplyDeleteKeep trying.
He'll let you know.
With my Aspie Boy, now 14, we tried scouts.
He never loved it, he never hated it.
But by 4th grade, he let us know he was done with it: we tried 1st, 2nd, 3rd..
Good for us, right?
You're a good mama...
Good for Max! Sounds like it was a big step for him in the right direction. Since the pack meeting was so loud and busy, I bet he'll be pleasantly surprised when he gets to the den meeting and finds it's a little less rowdy.
ReplyDeleteAnd good for you, Ellen! You've got a great attitude about it.
I'd give it a few more weeks before Dave starts carrying the flask! :)
Here's an interesting piece of news I found out this morning: there is a new den co-leader who has an older child with CP. And next week's meeting takes place in someone's backyard. Very hopeful! Because yes, for sure, a smaller group is the way to go. We were mistakenly told to go to the pack meeting.
ReplyDeletesam keeps asking to go to boy scouts. I dont know if i can handle it.you have given me the gumption to at least try
ReplyDeleteOh, try! TRY!!! The leaders have been very welcoming.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should take him to the meeting room ahead of time if they would let you in. Let him color a picture at a table, get the lay of the land, that kind of thing.
ReplyDeleteI gotta hand it to you guys, I wouldn't even attempt such a thing. Of course, the whole BSA experience isn't our cup of tea, particularly for my youngest. The national policy of the outfit isn't terribly tolerant so I just would not even dare. He doesn't like the idea either. He'd be happier in a co-ed group I think.
It's great progress for Max, and for all kids. I wasn't even allowed to join Girl Scouts when I was little as nothing was accessible, or inclusive back then. I bet Max will be relieved to see fewer kids next time, and join right in. Have fun, Max!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE progress--even in small steps and even when it comes with a side of Vodka.
ReplyDeleteThe term you wrote about Ricky Gervais using is a term that is used in England. I remember hearing people use it. I've never used it myself. I will say that it reminds me of the derogatory terms used by English people to describe those of Indian or Pakistani or indeed any other ethnic heritage. Lots of labeling and a complete lack of political correctness back in the England I remember in the 80s.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was back in England 2 summers ago, the mood was more inclusive probably because more and more "foreigners" are moving to the U.K. to work thanks to the EU. We had fabulous customer service from practically every worker we encountered on our travels.
Last week we took the kids to see a theater production of 3 Eric Carle stories, 2 of which T loved until recently when he stopped re-reading them. I was prepared for him to bail since he has very specific ideas about what he wants to watch, and sure enough he did. It was a somewhat expensive effort to do something as a family, but all we can do is try again.
ReplyDelete