A day in Other Life

Everything feels different with Max away at camp, and not just because he isn't physically here. I've never fully realized how much our life revolves around him. As we went about our very different day, he was always on my mind. Sabrina's, too, because she kept asking what we thought Max was doing at camp.

Our town has an annual Fourth of July all-day celebration. Usually Dave and Sabrina go and I stay home with Max, who can't stand the crowds. This year, the three of us went.

At 11, there was an ice-cream contest. Sabrina dropped out because she decided she wanted a pop from the Good Humor truck instead. Max definitely wouldn't have participated because they only had vanilla.

Hanging out

On the spinning thingie

Trying to dunk the nice emergency corps volunteer

Percussion drum hour

Wheeeeeeeeeee!

The circus was in town.

They picked Dave to join in, because they know a fun guy when they see one.

Dave rocked the air guitar. I think he'll be needing an agent soon.

Sabrina loved every second. At one point, we gave our camera to a woman sitting behind us to snap a photo. "What a nice family," she said. THUD went my heart. I ached for Max.

For dinner, a picnic.

After we were done eating, Sabrina ran off to play with friends, Dave chatted with neighbors and I sat alone on the picnic blanket, observing the families around us. Dave came back and suddenly, I put my head on his shoulder and started crying. We were an incomplete family in a field full of families. But if Max were home, we wouldn't have been there, enjoying the beautiful evening. I felt so conflicted.

"Maybe Max will be here someday," Dave said. There wasn't much more to say.

Just before the fireworks started, Dave's cell phone rang. It was the camp director. I hadn't wanted to seem like a helicopter mom, so I had Dave call today to see how Max was doing. Dave just handed the phone to me anyway. 

"You know how you told us he doesn't like crowds?" the director said. "Tonight there was a big dance and because you'd told us about the crowds, he and Kirsten were playing by themselves. But then Max heard the music and dragged her in there and started dancing!"

"Who is this child you're talking about?" I said, laughing.

"Max is doing incredibly well," he said.

"And he's sleeping at night?" I asked, incredulously. Max religiously walks into our room at 1 a.m. to crash with us. 

"Yes!" he said.

I hung up and told Dave. "Watch, Max is going to come home with a girlfriend!" he said.

And then the fireworks started. We lay there watching the sky light up, Sabrina nestled in the crook of my arm, and I just tried to enjoy.