Dave and I were outside the other day and he pointed out this bird's nest. Which is remarkable because he's not one to notice details. When we first started dating, I used to blow out my hair until one day I let it go completely curly and Dave didn't say a word. "Do you notice anything different about me?" I asked. "Are you wearing lipstick?" he said.
So when Dave notices something like this, it's a Big Deal. The bird's nest sighting was also notable because we both took time to marvel at the intricacy of it. Just a few minutes but still, we stopped what we were doing (fall yard clean-up) and gazed.
These moments are rare. I'm typically on fast-forward, plowing through the musts in my life—things I need to do for Max, for Sabrina, for their schools, for work, for the house, for bills, for vacation plans, for me (on occasion), for Dave (also on occasion), for blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you KNOW. I get so caught up in it all that it's rare I take time to ponder and muse and reflect and just think. E-mail, Facebook and Twitter distract me. Those five minutes of semi-consciousness before I fall asleep really don't count for much. And I have negative brain power in the shower in the morning; lather, rinse, repeat is about all I can handle.
Growing up, my mom used to sit on the couch at night and have just one cigarette. That was it; otherwise, she never smoked. It was her time to chill. I'd like to figure out a way to have the couch time, sans cigarette, but I am dubious I could just sit there and do nothing but think. I've gotten way too restless. I'd have to be stapled to the couch or something, which could be painful and I don't think Dave would do it.
But I'd really like to figure out a way to hit the pause button on my life.
We now return to our regularly-scheduled insanity.
Yes. I know that feeling. Swamped by self-imposed activity. Maybe this should my new years' resolution!
ReplyDeleteYou lather, rinse AND repeat? Stop with the repeat and use that time to relax! haha! Have a great day :)
ReplyDeleteLove this post - this time of year it's SO important to press the "pause button." Hope you have many moments like this in the coming year! Best - Stacey
ReplyDeleteCould we put the "pause" button right next to the "easy" button?
ReplyDeleteI love that you had that moment with the bird's nest. I go down to a beach on Lake Ontario every Saturday morning with my camera and connect with nature that way. It's my own mini respite.
ReplyDeleteset a timer. seriously.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to find that pause buttons...especially this time of year. What about a bath??
ReplyDeleteI am working two jobs so yes, I am always on fast forward most days. However I am blessed with the ability to VEG OUT completely when given the opportunity--the laziness gene is dominant in our family I guess. I also stink on the computer--I do a little web surfing, but I don't do all that twitter and facebook crap--no time, no interest. Also, when I was economically disadvantaged AKA poor as hell, I couldn't afford it--OR cable tv, even! Also, if I got hooked up in that I would spend all day in front of a screen and life is too short for that! I am also fortunate that I have parents to lean on, which most people don't have. We're living all in together now and that's working out great for me (not for everyone, I know but I love it--cheaper, more fun, more "adult" conversation, more sanity). When they step in to give me a break, I can get a real break and take a nap (or a crap, or a LONG hot bath) if I need one!
ReplyDeleteYou might want to think about "unplugging" for awhile. Of course, when it's your livelihood, that's not really viable, I guess. Even if you took a weekend off, though...that might help. You don't want to burn out--what good will you be to your family if you over-stress yourself?
With four kids and a budding business, I get it! Fast forward... with lots of distractions. If I hadn't learn how to meditate, I might be berserk. And when I say meeditate, I don't mean sitting in lotus with my chin out, humming my mantr (although it would be lovely to have the time) I mean, reading a bit of something unrelated to my life- usually a daily unreligious devotional thing. It's really easy. It has the date. I don;t even have to decide what to read!
ReplyDeleteBut I try to read, take the message, and 'contemplate' it for a while. 'What do I want for my life? How do I get it? What am I doing to get in my own way?'
I'm terrible at it. I forget, for days... But as long as I'm trying, I won't be hard on myself.
I do think I need to unplug more. I also think that the seasonal stuff is getting to me; every night I think, tonight's the night I will mail out the holiday cards! But, no.
ReplyDeleteTiffany: You know, I really should try a bath.
And, Kathy, yes: bring on the "easy" button!