I have a piece out in the October issue of Redbook, Just Call Us Halloweenies. It's about how I learned to accept that Max couldn't go to our town's Halloween parade because of his sensory issues, and the alterna-celebration we've come up with. Last year, some of you may recall, he and Sabrina completely ditched the costumes.
It has come to my attention that my essay is a menace to society. This afternoon, I got the following email:
Just read your piece in Redbook about Halloween. Actually, about your decision to be "quirky" and not dress up in costume when you trick-or-treat with your kids. That's really not quirky - it's rude, boring, and shows a lack of spirit. Sure, Halloween is for kids to get candy, but my reason for staying home that day and handing out candy is for my amusement, too - to see all of the unique costumes and the creativity and planning that kids and parents put into dressing up. If more people decide to take the easy, quirky (?) way out and not dress up, my days of answering the door for trick-or-treaters will soon end. If your kids don't wanna dress up, don't take them out. Period.
At first, I took the situation rather lightly and responded:
Actually, it was the kids' decision not to wear costumes (if you really read the piece). I will be sure to inform my children that they are rude, boring and lack spirit, especially my child with special needs. Cheers!
I got this answer in return:
I read the piece...you are the adult - let the kids know that if they won't dress up, they won't get candy. If they're too young to understand, just skip going out at all. Just take a poll and see how many people enjoy handing out candy to kids that aren't in costume. Its people like you that ruin the spirit of that day. I just hope that folks don't read your article and all decide to take the easy way out. Best regards!
By this point, I was getting worked up by the prospect that my essay had the potential to ruin Halloween for millions of door answerers everywhere.
I do not want people protesting outside my home, pelting me with candy corn as I make a dash for my minivan.
I do not want to appear on Letterman and publicly apologize for what I have done.
I do not want to go down in history as the lady who destroyed Halloween.
Unfortunately, it is too late to get Redbook to slap a "Caution: contents may be hazardous to your Halloween health" sticker on the October issue. It looks so fun and full of good things; one would never suspect the killjoy essay that lurks inside.
So please, be very, very careful when you read the issue and you get to my piece. It may just influence you to let your kids celebrate Halloween in their own way and otherwise do evil.
You have been duly warned.
Holy sh*t. YOU are the rude one? You're taking the EASY way out? I'd like to see that emailer walk in your shoes for a day.
ReplyDeleteO. M. G.
Also, thanks for wrecking Halloween, Ellen.
ReplyDelete;)
She's just tired of giving away candy to 13-year-olds who aren't wearing costumes. Small children--what is she talking about? Small kids are always cute--I don't care what they do! I mean, half the time I don't know what those characters are. I understand what she means about costumes being part of the spirit of things, but so is enjoying all the children with all of their quirks. Talk about ruining the holiday!
ReplyDeleteThe last few days I've been validating people's odd behavior (lack of tact) on the full moon. This however is the response from someone saturated in Halloween commercialism or an odd sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI have a child with sensory integration issues also, and have family that can't understand when he removes himself from a loud room of obnoxious over zealous family members.
I have your back, our circumstances aren't everyone's but I admire your forthcoming spirit and tenacity to tell it like it is. Happy Halloween Max, Dalton sends you a big smile and Hi 5 buddy!
That comment is just plain ignorant. Adam wasn't interested at all in dressing up or going out at one point. He does like the candy and going out for a walk, though. Then, it wasn't until I made a costume out of letters and numbers (he is hyperlexic and fascinated by them of course), that he was interested in "costumes" at all.
ReplyDeleteI digress. If a child doesn't want to dress up, so be it. Just enjoy and let's not let such silly people bother us.
So, you have to be the bad guy and tell your sensory kid that unless he does something that will cause him undo stress, anxiety and possibly pain, he's not allowed to get candy. Yeah, way to go. Let her see what it's like and thn maybe she'll think twice. Bull.shit.
ReplyDeleteBeen a lurker for a while but felt I just *had* to respond. That person is a total and absolute a-hole. Why does she care what kid is dressed up and what they're dressed up as? Halloween is about kids and what kids want, like and tolerate. My husband and I are childless by choice. I also have THE best house in the neighborhood for Halloween. I don't give a rat's a$$ about what kids are or are not wearing - as long as they say thank-you (or an approximation thereof...or if they can't, that SOMEONE does), I'm happy.
ReplyDeleteThat Emailer is the rude one! >:/
ReplyDeleteI feel proud of you for being someone strong and for understanding your children so well...forget costumes-Let Halloween be Costume Less!
This is so ridiculous on so many levels:
ReplyDelete1)I don't think kids not wearing costumes is so rampant that it's ruining Halloween.
2) I think she's taking it all a little too seriously. Lighten up Francis! How many people do you know that live to answer doors on Halloween? "Door answerers"...did she just coin that? Really?
3) she never acknowledges the special needs part of the equation at all.
How can a person be so into such a frivolous holiday and completely cranky at the same time?
Oh, thank you for the warning...because I love Redbook, and would hate for a whole holiday to be RUINED!!
ReplyDeleteOMG...and I don't use that phrase at all.!!
I think that the holiday is about kids and it is up to the kids how they choose to celebrate it. If it is more fun to not dress up, then they should not dress up. That woman is just ignorant.
ReplyDeleteI am very glad to hear you all still like Halloween. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, and on one of the emails, the response was from a "Steve" so who knows—guy, woman. Either way, they are Hallow-loonie.
Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteCan you bring your kids trick or treating to my door? I'll give them candy! :)
Personally, Ellen, I think you should go on Letterman, take Max along in his non-costume, and throw candy at the audience before explaining how you've ruined Halloween for the rest of the world.
ReplyDeleteAnd please, post the air date so we don't miss it. ;-D
So stick 'em in an orange t-shirt and say they're pumpkins. And darn cute ones, too.
ReplyDeleteOh, and Joey prefers to give out candy. Not that isn't into trick-or-treating, he just gets very happy to also come home (we go pretty early), get OUT of teh itchy costume, and give out treats. While sampling, of course. Does that ruin Lame Lady's holiday, too? Oops.
ReplyDeleteI, personally, would much rather a cute child dressed as themselves show up at my door than one dressed in a polyester, made in china imitation horror mask
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the reaction from this Halloween Lover to the child (in a most fabulous, brilliant costume) who asks: "Excuse me, does this candy have nuts in it? because I'm allergic."
Or maybe she protests outside or eggs the house of the person who hands out pencils and notepads in hopes of combating childhood obesity and diabetes -
I bet the letter writer who fears young non-costumed trick-or-treaters has a fabulous costume to represent her/his personality - Scrooge!
Well, you probably didn't want to go by their house anyway. I bet they give out really lousy candy.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. Hope you're not responding to that Halloween creep any more!
ReplyDeleteI am in agreement with most of the people here. Halloween is a night for CHILDREN. It's supposed to be FUN. Part of the fun can be wearing a costume, but if it causes the kid agita, then it is no longer FUN. And since the goal is having FUN, let the kids have FUN.
ReplyDeleteWTF is wrong with that dickheaded killjoy with his (or her) "rules" about what kids must do to get candy from him (or her)? That kind of rigid, A-hole attitude makes that a house I'd have my kids avoid--not only would the candy probably be lousy and stale, I'd worry about razor blades from a jerk like that. I think he oughta do everyone a favor and turn his light out on Halloween night--who needs a cranky ass like that passing judgment on little kids and making unfounded and uninformed determinations about their degree of "spirit," like his crappy, creepy, and overblown opinion even matters? I think your funky little emailer needs to get a life, and stop trolling on the internet like an angry friendless 13 year old. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if the little shit shows up again and again--people like that get their jollies from trying to be mean to total strangers while hiding behind a keyboard. It's how they make up for deficiencies in their real lives. I hope you don't let that jerk get to you Ellen, and have no fear--you aren't the witch that stole Halloween!!!!!
Heeheeeheeeee!!
ReplyDeleteHaven't all of us lost a piece of our costumes here and there, potentially leaving you only partly costumed by the end? Maybe this reader is made of stronger stuff than I, but when my daughter peed her pants with the trill of it all, I removed the wet bits, added pants and moved on. So what?? I do dislike older teenagers who don't bother dressing up but I make them do a trick - sing a song, tell a joke, then I give double candy. Whatever. The night is as fun as you make it, period.
ReplyDeleteSounds like someone needs to chill out. OMG, it's Halloween and candy for goodness sakes.
ReplyDeleteLoved your piece, by the way.
Unbelievable. Being British I'm not really big on Halloween, but as far as I can tell it is for children more than adults and as such, if a child would like to participate in trick or treating but is unable to dress up for whatever reason, the adults (who should have more mature reasoning skills), should accept this gracefully. And what about kids who can't afford costumes etc?
ReplyDeleteI am dying over here with laughter! What a douche! How can you be so rude Ellen and not dress you or your children up??? HA!(you know I am kidding...just want the others to know too)
ReplyDeleteDid you let her know the painstaking task last year of YOU making his costume out of a purple BBB bag?!?!
Jeesh. Those emails were probably from people who give out raisins instead of candy.
ReplyDeleteIt's Halloween, people. It's not like there is some kind of strict dress code.
Wow. While I am totally pro-costume and would definitely be sad to see fewer trick-or-treaters in costume, I can't imagine that one family's choice to skip that part of the holiday would actually cause a generation of kids to just give up the idea of dressing up. Most kids love that part of it. She sounds just a bit crazy and seriously rude.
ReplyDeleteFirst - Congrats on an article in Redbook! That's awesome.
ReplyDeleteSecond - don't even give her any thought. She obviously has never had a child as special as Max. Those are the ones that I wish special kids on, for their own sakes. You can't understand the other side if you don't even want to look over the fence to see what's going on there. She's clueless, and wants to stay that way while harping at you. It makes her feel better for her lack of understanding.
YOU'RE rude?! My friend, the person who wrote you that is rude, selfish, and incredibly ignorant. Oh yes, you should force Max into a costume and drag him around against his will to entertain strangers. Never mind the fact that he would be uncomfortable, unhappy, and generally stressed out.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I say we all show to Steve's house with our sensory - overloaded kids - and a few cartons of eggs. How's that for Halloween spirit? Sorry, couldn't resist. =)
Wow! Well, not to worry Ellen. We don't even "celebrate" Halloween around here, so you haven't ruined anything for me! I think that person has a little too much time on their hands. I never realized there were Halloween police lurking about!
ReplyDeleteThis lady reminds me of the adults who turned up at bookstores for Harry Potter release parties and pitched a fit when they were told that the favors were reserved for children. The holiday isn't about you, you jerk. It's about the kids and if you can't handle the kids not adhering to some ridiculous code you're made up in your own mind, put away the candy and give it up.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think the ones that "ruin" halloween are the ones that drop their 50 kids off in a bus at the end of the street (they are not even from the same town, they just come cause it is a bigger neighborhood) and let them go wild when they are at least 18 yrs old. Who cares if a kid isn't dressed up...where is the law that says you have to dress up?
ReplyDeleteAs far as I'm concerned young kids Max's age can come trick or treating how ever they want to. There's not a dress code on Halloween that I've ever heard of.
ReplyDeleteI do have a beef with the teenagers and near adults that come to the door wanting candy. Don't know why. I just find it irritating. They still get a handful of candy- I just don't get it.
On another note, Max and Sabrina are both far cuter than any Halloween costume I've ever seen. They are welcome to stop by our house on Halloween - costumes or not (if you feel like making a 500 - mile trip, that is). I'll have a few boxes of Halloween Peeps waiting for them. =)
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh - yeah - thanks for ruining Halloween! :) Ha ha!
ReplyDeletespeechless!!!
ReplyDeleteuhhh, I think someone takes Halloween a little too seriously.
ReplyDeletealso, I didn't realize that when kids dressed up it was for other peoples enjoyment and not their own.
And OMG, Felicia, you had me CRACKING UP!!!
Oh, Ellen, you KOW I'm laughing myself silly over this whole brouhaha! Seriously, one year we "forced" Nik into wearing the most adorable puppy costume. We made it as far as one house before he was on the ground in hysterics. As soon as we took the costume off, the smiles and laughter reappeared & he had a great time ringing doorbells. He didn't even want candy...just to ring the doorbells.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
Not only does my son not want to wear a costume, he would really prefer to have NOTHING on (which is NOT an option). I wonder what reaction that would bring?!
ReplyDeleteGood lord, what a wanker. Max and Sabrina can come to my house without their costumes and I'll LOAD them up with candy :P
ReplyDeleteWow that person needs to get a life.
ReplyDeleteI just read that in Redbook this week. It was great, especially since I recognized it from you post about Halloween a short time ago.
ReplyDeleteMy kids can't WAIT to dress up. Just 'cause one (or more, for that matter!) persons kids don't want to dress up doesn't mean the rest of us are going to take the "easy way out".
That lady was way more that beyond rude!
So glad we already do not celebrate Halloween...Otherwise, you would have ruined it for sure! ;-)
ReplyDeleteThis is really cracking me up. Imagine it: A mob of angry mothers waving their copy of Redbook high in the air as they march neighborhoods all over the country. Pulling their happy, smiling, non-costumed children door to door. Only to be met with angry door answerers refusing to give them candy.
How will our country ever recover from such a blow as this?
(kidding aside, I think you are very gracious to even respond to this nonsense)
I personally would think it slightly off if a kid turned up without a costume. However, I'm in the UK, and Halloween really isn't a big thing here. Most children don't trick-or-treat and many people never do it at all (myself included). There's a big fuss about menacing, be it the 'tricks' or people being bothered and feeling pressured to hand out sweets. It's only because of the American influence that we celebrate like this and many people don't like it. Many people consider the kids trick-or-treating at all to be bad though, let alone not wearing a costume to do it.
ReplyDeleteI think the "door answerer" that is writing to you is creepy! Halloween is about fun and candy for KIDS. It is not meant to be a fun entertainment choice for "door answerers". She needs to turn her porch light out and go to bed.
ReplyDeleteIt is obvious that SHE has never been lucky enough to have a kid with Max's level of super powers. :)
So what? I wonder if anyone ever thought that some people simply just can't afford those over priced plastic custumes and then to be MAD that a kid comes to your door in no costume??? Big Flippin' Deal. Know the full story then judge, or better yet, DON'T judge at all. How sad for this grumpy old commenter to be so narrow-minded and selfish.
ReplyDeleteOMG...
ReplyDeleteThis woman has a serious problem! What a B.... and or Wicked Witch!
I think Halloween is the worst invention in the history of our culture...not even talking about what it represents, it is not a very healthy holiday and could be rather dangerous. The lady needs an attitude adjustment and obviously has not had a child with special needs and doesn't know that we need to tailor their worlds to their needs so they can participate and something survive...some people just don't get it!!! Unbelievable...
ReplyDeleteOMG talk about missing the point. How frustrating for you!
ReplyDeleteLOL!! That is just laughable. I guess I will also ruin Halloween because my kids don't dress up either. Why? Because where we live it is COLD most years on Halloween. What happens.... the costume goes on. Then the coat, gloves, and hat leaving no sign of the $30.00 costume under it all. The one they will wear all of one one time.
ReplyDeleteCall me whatever you may but that is how it rolls most years over here!
dress them both in purple and at each door give a different explanation - a plum and a grape, twin prunes, super purple max and his sidekick sabrina.
ReplyDeletebtw i try to remind myself that idignant people are to be pitied bc they have to live with themselves.
Sounds likes someone needs to wash a little sand outta their ... well, you know.
ReplyDeleteRude is as rude does in my book and if your kids don't wanna dress in costume, who gives two squats? Not me. Everyone who shows up at my house with a smile on their face gets a HUGE candy bar.
Well, except that mean little boy across the street, he gets a pink toothbrush!
Jeesh! I guess trolls exist outside the internet too? ;) I know what s/he must dress as for halloween! ;)
ReplyDeleteBTW, Bertrand hates the costume part too. He did 1 house the 1st year. 2 houses last year. This year we're aiming for 3 whole houses! before a melt down. :)
He much prefers to stay home and "give out" candy. I use the words "give out" loosely, because we package our candy/goodies in crinkley bags which he LOVES to the point he doesn't let go. :)
This is kind of a relief because navigating our turn of the century neighborhood, situated on the side of a mountain, is a nightmare in either a stroller or wheelchair. I have to carry him up and down all the front steps--and at 37pounds plus equipment in poor lighting, I am going to kill myself one of these years. :-P
An aside: Bertrand and I give out candy regardless of age or costuming status because Halloween is all about fun! Judge not the trick-or-treaters! When I was a shy, polite 11 years-old (dressed as Maid Marian), I'd shot up to 5'8 and I got rejected by 3 houses at halloween--one woman even slammed the door in my face (!) in spite of giving candy to my friends with me who were OLDER THAN ME. That was the last year I trick-or-treated, and the last time I wore a costume until college.
That lady is truly AWESOME! We must have more. You should write back in the style of David Thorne 27b/6, pretending to totally miss her point which misses *your* point. It should drive her nuts and will be fun for us.
ReplyDeleteKerry
That woman needs to a get a life and get a clue. Geez!!!
ReplyDeleteKerry: LOVE 27b/s. That would have been too funny to engage that way, I missed my chance. My troll seems to have gone away, and is not behaving at all like a troll should. And there I was, so excited to have my first troll to play with.
ReplyDeleteChristina: Max loves doling out candy, too!
Faith: BRILLIANT! And, hello!
PS, you all rock.
ReplyDeleteIf that emailer wasnt so ignorant she would see that all children are different, and what is a good time for some isnt for others. She is so gung ho on Halloween, but she might ruin it for my child when she stands at the door instead of first letting my obsessed child ring the door bell first...not letting him ring the door bell just ruins it for him, but I dont go around and complain to every participating home owner that doesnt let him do that....or in that fact to those that dont walk out to my other child that is in a wheelchair and cant go to their door. I mean come on everyone does things in different ways and some call in typical, and some call it quirky. The rude ones are the ones that knit pick about every little thing that isnt to their liking!
ReplyDeleteSounds like this emailer needs some Xanax with their fun-size candy bars this year.
ReplyDeleteMakes my head spin!
ReplyDeleteWow. The pumpkin is so deflated. That's absolutely ridiculous. I'm shaking my head and and laughing.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious. Halloween always brings out the crazies doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteHeh, it's rude and boring. What's rude and boring is going out of your way to tell someone they're rude and boring. I don't want the mean lady's candy anyway.
God forbid our kids with special powers (also known as awesomeness) enjoy a holiday. Bite me crazy halloween lady.
What I *really* don't like are the moms that drive their kids to our neighborhood and sit in the car while all 5 of the kids, none in costume, ask for candy. I wouldn't mind it if it wasn't about 10 families every year. One or two kids, no problem. And there's always an group of uncostumed teens showing up. I want to say "No, sorry, if you could even put on a towel as a cape I'm not giving you candy" but they intimidate me!
ReplyDeleteI think the commenter makes an excellent point and your response was actually rather snarky. Trick or treating is about getting dressed up in costume. If you don't want to wear a costume, then don't go trick or treating. It doesn't make any sense otherwise. Walking around from house to house without a costume would be weird. Also, if you look at her response she wasn't calling your kids rude but rather the idea of going trick or treating out of costume rude.
ReplyDeleteDesiree I dont agree. The commentator was quite rude. It does make sense to me and I hope I never have a neighbour like you or the commentator. People like you lack tact and perspective.
DeleteDesiree I dont agree. People like you lack tact and perspective. I dont see how walking around house to house without costume is "weird". So your view is that the emailer is allowed to be a judgemental twat is it?
DeleteWe as mothers are always finding ways to make our children happy (despite the judgments constantly being passed on us), and I think it's awesome that you found a way to still make Halloween enjoyable for you and your children. If we moms had to always take into consideration the feelings of every other person on the planet when raising our children, we would be so overwhelmed with guilt we'd never get out of bed in the morning. So, like almost everyone else on your blog has said, good for you, boo to the other mom, and don't worry, you AREN'T ruining Halloween for the rest of the free world!
ReplyDeleteYou know, the email commenter might just be an alias for the reclusive North Korean Leader, Kim Jong Il, or maybe Mahmoud Ahmadinejad; possibly both working together to undermine America's best families.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe anyone would be so mean spirited or crazy!
All the best to you and your family Ellen. We love your blog.
Congratulations on getting published in Redbook.
Seriously people need to get a freaking life. People need to have an opinion about every darn thing and then have the audacity to make these rude statements. She makes me so irritated that I really wish she gets "treated" this year.
ReplyDeleteYou, mama, are amazing and I love that you roll with the punches and don't try to force a child into things to please idiots like her.
Just remember Wednesday Addams said when asked about her costume."I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else."
ReplyDeleteFor us the issue has never been costumes, but the whole door protocol. You go to a door, ring the bell and then when they open the door... you go in, right? That's how it usually works. And saying "trick or treat" and "thank you" over and over again loudly and to strangers is exhausting. He wants to go out, but we peter-out pretty quickly for an 11yo.
ReplyDeleteWe all do our best. How about a little "benefit of the doubt" if you see someone not doing thins by the book. Jeeze!
I don't care if Max is special needs or not, what you choose to do to celebrate a holiday is your business. But, because you are the parent of a child who has sensory issues the last thing you want to do is put him in clothing that he won't be comfortable in. And, y'know what -- I bet your neighbors know Max and wouldn't care if he came to their house in his underpants
ReplyDeleteIf someone has rules about whom they give candy to on Halloween, they've got a problem. Sure, I think it's appropriate that at least the child say trick or treat and thank you but, guess what, they're kids! We're not their mouthpiece. We can prompt them when they are little but if they don't want to say it then no amount of us forcing them is going to make that happen.
In a world where we accommodate every darn stranger, what's wrong with accommodating our own kids every once in awhile. It's not like you said you'd allow Max to carry your 12" Chef's knife because you've abdicated parenting to his choices and he wants to be Freddy Krueger. It's not like you have thrown up your hands and said 'Halloween, be damned!'.
No, you've determined what's best for your child.
And for all other parents whose children have pulled off all their clothing and decide to run thru Target in their diaper with mom yelling behind them, call 911 and throw that mom in jail for violating the rules of parenting.
Evidently, when their child was born they got a book on How to Be the Perfect Parent. Guess you were too busy taking a crash course in medical school to read that book.
If they don't like that you love your son so much (and your daughter too) to allow them to carve out their unique niche in a holiday that basically amounts to begging for candy, they can, as Kathy Griffin is fond of saying 'Suck It'.
Rock on, Ellen!
Thank you for giving me a reason to laugh out loud today--I love your blog (I have a son with CP as well, and some days it's a stretch to find something to laugh about)!
ReplyDeleteBTW, are you planning to ruin Christmas too? I can only hope...
Thx for all the encouraging words, all. Desiree, I sure hope someone gives you a sense of humor for the holidays. And Kelly, I'm going to see how Halloween goes and if I've successfully destroyed it, I will go on to Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, too.
ReplyDeleteI lived in a small hick town for a short time where there were actually rules for Halloween, but they were rules about what time you could go out trick or treating. I was like, what in the world? I'm used to kids coming all times of the night, houses being egged, teens wearing a hat to get candy. You know, Halloween.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that person needs to move there and make some more rules for this major holiday. I mean it would be a national catastrophe if we sent out our kids without costumes! Imagine the horror when babies pull off their Halloween bibs! What about when kids in wheelchairs decorate their chairs instead of wearing a costume? I'm scared to think about what she'd do if a child's costume ripped before they reached her door!
You rock Ellen :)
My son, who was born with Down syndrome, has an Oct 31 birthday. His slightly older sister went trick or treating for the first time saying "Happy Birthday!" at each door. Then on March 11, she wanted to go get candy from the neighbors for *her* birthday. To help her understand the tradition, I took her to the neighbors' doors, explaining her misperception. She picked up some great candy that birthday.
ReplyDeleteThe next year, she said "Trick or Treat" at each door, but again visited the neighbors on March 11th. The third year, she explained to me that her brother's birthday happened to fall on Halloween, so there was no reason to visit the neighbors on March 11. I had to tell her that we had already planned the event and the neighbors were looking forward to it. I wonder if that neighborhood still celebrates March 11th, years after we moved away. They had the true Halloween spirit! No matter what the date might be.
The gal who insists you are out to destroy Halloween should visit the Pacific Northwest for the big day. We are fortunate to see any part of a costume under umbrellas and raincoats or down jackets.
Good luck on your efforts to destroy Halloween for mean people! And don't forget to celebrate March 11th in your own way, too.
I salute you and your children.
ReplyDeleteAnd I do say BOOOOO (pun intended) to the commenter!
Finally, I will add that here in Chicago, as in many colder climates, 9.9 times out of 10 you cannot even see/tell what the costumes are, given the fact that they are hidden under many layers of jacket, coat, etc.
The "spirit" of Halloween is about generosity, not judgment....if you do not want to be generous, by all means turn your lights out and do not answer the door!
Signed, Olivia's Mom
Last year, and the year before for that matter, my daughter wore costumes... This year, with more self-awareness, more sensory issues, and more (though still very limited) communication we TRIED several. Yes, I did say several. Not to torture her, but because there were reasons that each did not work. Now, she will go in Skeleton PJ's or a Halloween Tee shirt. I fail to see why making it easier on her is a bad thing on a holiday that is supposed to be fun.
ReplyDeleteHa! I thought hte same thing... did she READ the piece?? The older sibling is the one BEING empathetic!!
ReplyDeleteI heart ya, go girl... wicked witch and all that...
PS my husband is going to be a witch this year... I'll think of you. :)
Give us her email address! PLEASE! Us parents of sensory children will give this "person" a piece of our minds! Love your blog and I totally support you supporting your children in their Halloween choices.
ReplyDeleteI am a fan of Motherlode in fact I came to this blogadinkl because I read your excerpt there. I think the Redbook lady was rude and ridiculous but..... don't give her a reaction.
ReplyDeleteTo recall a touch of junior high drama: Once a mean girl decided to have her B'Day party the same day as mine. And yes she KNEW! I said " Good for you" (w/ out a hint of sarcasm) and she actually ASKED me why I wasn't upset.
PSBTW the motherlode author says her son did the same thing and he doesn't have special needs
I know this comment is a couple of years late, but in reading the email, I have to wonder if the emailer herself might have special needs.
ReplyDeleteI mean, it's such a silly thing to get worked up over; anyone adult who has spent time around kids knows about individual differences, and how goofy they can get at holidays; that's a weird thing to take a hard, rigid stand on; there aren't crazy religious factors involved; AND, she took the time to write you about it. Twice!
So many milder conditions weren't diagnosed or treated when we were kids, it just makes me wonder about Asperger's, or a mental illness if some kind. Could be she wasn't even aware her remarks would be hurtful.
And I'm definitely not excusing her, or minimizing your hurt feelings. She was rude and wrong. Sometimes it is just a little comforting to think it may really be her problem, that's the way she functions in the world, and it really wasn't personal or representative of NT society at large.
Congratulations on the publication by the way... And your kids are adorable!