Here's a phenomenon that's rarely discussed: parent abuse. As in, when your darling kids unintentionally maim you or otherwise do you harm. Talk about job hazards. Over the years, I've gotten whacked in the head (too many times to count), poked in the eye (ditto), punched in the lip and head-butted in my stomach. Once, Max tried to shove a Matchbox car in one of my ears while I was sleeping. Happily, I am not a heavy sleeper. Max also has this habit of grabbing one of my boobs when he's trying to get my attention, since evidently poking me or saying "Ohmmy!" is just not sufficient.
This weekend, Max ran over my right toes with his kiddie tractor trailer. I fully realize I am damn lucky that my child with cerebral palsy is able to ride a tractor trailer. But OMG, that hurt. The first three toes have turned a lovely shade of purple, so at least some good came of it (you guys know how much Max loves purple).
There really isn't much you can do in situations like this. Screaming "OUCH!" only freaks your kid out, and screaming "OH. MY. GOD. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURT?!!!" will only result in years of therapy for him. So you just sort of stifle it as the tears well up in your eyes and hope that your toes or ear stay attached and that your kidney doesn't fall out or anything.
And you think, "Wow, the stuff I put up with in the name of parenthood."
What forms of parent abuse have you endured?
Photo by Ciel Photography
Right now we're in the hair pulling and biting stage. I currently have a little "love bite" on my arm where Jack decided to bite me since I wasn't responding to his needs fast enough. At least he isn't biting while nursing so much anymore!!
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget when my youngest, now almost nine, punched me in the face when he was just under two years old. It hurt like hell but was more shocking and so humiliating. I don't remember what I did but I do remember my friends who were with me at the time burst out laughing.
ReplyDeleteOh I am laughing right now, Ellen! We stole a line from Josh Blue, the comedian, with the "Palsy Punch"! Faith has one rocket of an arm and if you aren't careful when you are undressing or dressing or getting her out of the car....POW...right in the eye! She also is notorious for using her AFO's in the early morning hours as weapons against poor hubby's crotch area! LOL!
ReplyDeleteIt started with two bouts of mastitis endured while nursing...lots of hits and jabs...one chronic shoulder issue...and we'll see what's next!
ReplyDeleteBut we endure it for love.
Isaiah's flailing arms have landed a few good pops to my face. Not to mention how he has no regard for my toes when I am wearing flip-flips. I have no idea how a 37- pound person wearing Converse high tops can inflict so much pain on my feet!
ReplyDeleteGracie always kicks me in the shins with her braces and shoes on, while she is sitting on my lap. It is always an accident, like when she is fighting me to get down, or tossing herself around. I have bruises up and down both of my shins.
ReplyDeleteMy two front teeth are crooked. Yep. Elijah has this bad habit of throwing himself backwards when he's upset or trying to get away from doing something. One time he hit my teeth and now they're slightly off-kilter. Lovely. He also hit my nose so hard once that I thought he had broken it (he didn't, but it hurt for over a week). He never intends to do it, but I do worry about how we'll handle him as he gets older and bigger. He doesn't really understand "gentle."
ReplyDeleteHair pulling - OUCH. I should be happy that my child is reaching out and grabbing, but I am too busy being in pain! Emily has a really good grip and I am figuring I will have bald patches to prove it.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing she has done is almost rip my earring out of my ear.
I still have not learned to stifle my responses, but usually when I yell OW, OW, OW - she laughs. So maybe we need to work on compassion.
Our mantra this month seems to be, "stop, mommies are not for biting - if you're hungry, let's get something to eat" as Alex pulls my hand, foot, arm, nose, or anything else he can get ahold of towards his mouth.
ReplyDeleteJust had a black eye for a week straight.. THAT WAS EMBARRASSING haha. It was the result of a running hug gone array (head directly into cheek bone OUCH) funny now...but NOT at the time :)
ReplyDeleteCan I say power wheelchair? Love the independence but Watch OUT!
ReplyDelete1.I've had a bruised lip & a loose tooth from Jailen raring back in a temper tantrum as he was sitting in my lap.
ReplyDelete2.My hair is shorter than it's ever been because I got tired of the pulling one day.
3.I get pinched alot when he's holding on & gets excited or nervous.
4.He kicks me in the stomach countless times when I'm changing his diaper. He's 5 with some very long legs!
I'm pretty sure this list could go on and on and on, but I'll stop there. :)
Gotta love 'em!!
I am not a parent, but as a teacher of children with special needs here are some of the more memorable moments of teacher abuse:
ReplyDelete* bitten on right breast so hard that I could have had orthodontic appliances made for the child from the bruised imprint
* hit in the temple by a rock thrown by a 3 year old who will either be an all star pitcher for a major league team or a sharp shooter resulting in a laceration and huge swollen knot
* Head butted on the sternum so hard that it knocked the wind out of me and I heard an oddly intriguing crunch
* Black eye from having to prevent a child from smashing their head through a glass door (sensory overload, meltdown), she had a solid right hook
* Had the muscle and nerve in my right arm torn when the child I was feeding decided he did not like what I was offering
There were days I felt like I should have earned combat pay, but I loved my job even if I never had a time during the school year when I did not have a bruise somewhere. :)
Well I have had the usual.. Pulling, biting, scratching, running over of the toes etc. But when my now 11 year old daughter was about nine months old she poked me in the eye. Dosen't sound to bad right? Wrong! She was yelling and I had her facing away from me. She then waved her had and shoved her finger in my left eye. The pain wAs so fast and intense that I throw her into my husband arms( thank goodness he was there). We go to the er, they send me to a speacialist. My daughter had ripped my cornea! So bad that I had to wear an eye patch that made me feel like a pirate. The eye healed, but I love to tell my daughter how she hurt me. Does that make me mean? lol
ReplyDeleteMy latest kid injury was a lego to the forehead, and it actually resulted in blood. OUCH!
ReplyDeleteOk, not a parent, but as a teacher, actually in this story my starring role is as a special needs camp director, I had a kiddo (who happened to have Down Syndrome) break my leg. He didn't mean to, and his mom did give me a Target gift card which I think helped her feel better more than it helped me through the 8 weeks in a cast followed by surgery, followed by 8 more weeks in a cast. Still, that is one strong kick, with some great aim, to break a fibula in one fantastic swoop. I really think his mom would have preferred he had kicked her. Telling her what happened was one of the worst moments of my career. I felt awful for her. It is definatly one of those moments I hope to never ever repeat.
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say is, ouch, ouch and...OUCH. Reading some of these stories sure does put my black-and-blue toes in perspective. Max or Sabrina have never broken anything on my body...yet.
ReplyDeleteOh my. So much abuse here!!! Olivia is surprisingly strong for being so small...and the boys? yikes!
ReplyDeletei actually had a kidney stone knocked loose by Sammy and nate once. oh dear the pain. ive also had many split lips and suchSammy also broke a rib on me once during a behavior. so.much.fun
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