Welcome back to the blog with multiple personality disorder! Yesterday, I mused about barf. Today, I'm pondering Max's future.
I just read an article about a father with a twentysomething son who has autism. The dad decided to start a business called Men With Mops, a cleaning and odd-jobs service staffed with autistic adults who attend a center with his son. Staffers make $7.25 an hour wiping down bathrooms, doing yardwork and running errands for local homes and businesses.
I thought it was amazing that this man had helped find work for these men.
I was haunted by a comment a client made in the piece. "They're diligent in their dusting," the woman gushed.
Diligent in their dusting.
Diligent in their dusting.
Diligent in their dusting.
Is this what adulthood might hold for Max? He'll be a diligent duster?
Thinking like this does me no good—that, I know. Max is also just six. Yes, he has big challenges and obstacles to overcome, but he has time.
Sometimes, though, I just can't help having a little freakout about his future.
Photo by Ms Ladyred
I freakout too! But, you're right, they're many, many, MANY years away from a career. Don't worry, I hear ice cream taste tester make BANK! And with that face, I wouldn't rule out male model just yet =) Max is gonna do great things, I know it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for that morning laugh, Justine. Yes, Max would be a great ice-cream taste tester. :)
ReplyDeleteI freakout too, that is why I am sometimes incapable of thinking about the future at all. I kind of live for the day, live for the moment. I was never like that until I had T and I like it. Keeps my mind from not going crazy (most of the time).
ReplyDeleteI'm like KristenP, I just try not to think further than tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI so get that.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on this. It's definitely hard. I walk a fine line between optimism and denial.
ReplyDeleteHere's how I look at it. You could plan and plan for a "normal" child's education and career, and the kid could tell you, after all of your planning, to stick it because he wanted to grow parsnips on a commune and watch his toenails grow. You can also plan and plan for an exceptional child's future, and the kid may not wind up needing all of the supports that you put in place against the day you are no longer there.
ReplyDeleteYes, you can plan and plan, and there's nothing wrong with doing that (in fact, it's a prudent idea) but you can't predict. Life has a way of letting you know that every so often.
And because you can't predict, there's really no point in fretting, now, is there? Do the best you can to ensure your kids will be taken care of and/or have a decent start in life, and then just stop worrying about it. Go have some chocolate ice cream and the beach house, and live in the NOW.
I loved Felicia's reply. We are at a big deciding point as my sons are seniors. Do you graduate, stay another year, vocational??? I already panicked last month. One thing I know for certain, I have wonderful caring sons. Our journey has been different from the day they were born very premature. I just got back from picking one up at school and he is now eating his birth weight in a sub sandwich. My son I thought would never gain weight or eat! Its so easy to get caught up worrying, but I couldn't imagine my life without them!
ReplyDeleteI loved what Felicia said, very insightful and something worth repeating.
ReplyDeleteI love the mulitple personality blog, that's how I feel about mine as well, lol
do not worry so much he is a kid . Maybe max can work in a car place since he loves cars or let him pick what he wants to be
ReplyDeleteFelicia, do you think you could maybe adopt me? I know not to worry about the future. I just can't HELP it sometimes. I am, though, about to go have some ice-cream. I like vanilla.
ReplyDeleteAZ, I like your idea, too—Max would love to work in a car place!
Ahhhh, an interesting dilemma. I often have to remind myself that there's no shame in manual labor and there's plenty of happiness going around for people who don't go to college. In the end, if Charlie is a duster or a table cleaner or whatever, then I'll be fine as long as he's happy. Happy--that's the goal.
ReplyDeleteI will gladly adopt you, Ellen, and your lovely family too! We'll throw a few more vegetables in the pot, and scooch down on the couch! Plenty of room for everyone, if you like company!!! If you want cable TV, though, we'll have to head over to my folks' place (tee hee)!
ReplyDeleteJust read that in People....it's very stressful to think about the future!!!
ReplyDeleteI know I am very fortunate that Regan can determine her own future if she continues to work hard.
ReplyDeleteThat being said I have looked at plenty of options. One of my very good friends has her son signed up to work and live at a self sufficent disabled adults community. It was a very difficult decision for the family to make, but they felt he would like more prupose in life than what they could offer, so he is going to live at Brookwood next year and try it out.
It is the best decision for them, but it isn't for everyone. I think each parent looks at what their kids are capable of mentally and physically, and if the desire to be a more independent adult is there. You make decisions based upon the individual not what is expected of you or your child.
You have plenty of time to research and determine what will be best for Max and you for now just enjoy the ice cream