I'm hanging out with Max in the playroom. Suddenly, I spot something in his hair. It seems to be a big booger. Oh. It is a big booger. Max isn't very adept with his hands, so I have to help.
Whose booger is that?
How exactly did it get in Max's hair?
I ponder this as I pluck out the stuff, wipe my hand on a paper towel then go wash up.
It's disgusting. And I am totally desensitized to it.
After years of changing Max's diapers (he's still not potty trained, though I'm hopeful) and dealing with Sabrina's refusal to clean herself after she poops, along with runny noses, bloody knees, throw up (on the floor, on me), ear wax buildup, assorted bed pee accidents and lots and lots of drool, pretty much nothing grosses me out. Well, except Dave's toenails.
Go on, try to disgust me with some gross story about your kid. Just try!
Artistic rendering of slime by Jason
My son blows spit bubbles constantly. and gets it all over.
ReplyDeleteand one morning i walked into his room and he had had an accident and there was runny poop all over his bed and him. It had leaked out of his diaper. Like you, i am totally immune to it all. i still have trouble with the smell of vomit/spit up (i am actually gagging at the thought of it as i write this), but can handle it.
very funny blog!! you rock!
I have two.
ReplyDeleteThe first was when she was two and had diarrhea that overflowed down both pants legs, up her back all the way to her neck and down both arms. I didn't know how to take off her onesie since I could NOT bring it up and over her head, or it would leave diarrhea all over her head, in her hair, mouth, eyes. So, I pulled the onesie down her body. By this point, I had it all over my hands too. I tried to stretch the neck out so it would go down her body. It got stuck on one side by the velcro on her diaper, but I didn't know it. I pulled harder, the velcro released, and the downward motion made the diaper fling diarrhea all over everything. It was on the mirror, running down the cupboards and splattered on the wall.
The next one was when she had rotovirus and went everywhere all the time. I never knew which end it would come from.
While at the doctor's office, she went in her diaper. I laid her on the floor of the bathroom and took off her shoes and was pulling down her shorts. Meanwhile, the water diarrhea was spilling out the top and collecting in a pool beneath her back. When I discovered what was happening, I could actually see the pool getting larger and larger. She didn't know what was happening and started getting her sensory input by rubbing her arms quickly on the floor. I was watching her "swim" in her own diarrhea. I got her standing up so quickly that thankfully it didn't get in her hair. I had to strip her down and give her a paper towel bath in the tiny bathroom sink.
I will never forget these moments!
So whos booger was it??? Did he actually get a finger up his nose, dig around, and wipe it in his hair? Or is Sabrina doing the ultimate by putting boogers in her brothers hair already?
ReplyDeleteIn any case YUCK!
I may be back with some gross stories...I have plenty!
yeah, so who's booger was it?!?!
ReplyDeleteMy oldest "normal" son eats his. One day I asked him why...he said "but mom, it tastes soooo good, like cheetos but chewy."
I'm gagging right now.
Ellen,
ReplyDeleteFaith was just learning to sit up and stay up on her own, so we would put pillows all around her so she wouldn't get hurt if she fell. Well, we were housesitting and I went to go take a bath. I gave her a spoon to play with and took the phone in to the bathroom with me. I took a little longer than usual and when I came out, there she sat. Naked as a jaybird, diaper in one hand and spoon in the other, and poop all over her, the spoon, the diaper, the floor. It was like she was painting with it! I just about DIED right there! Thank the Lord, I was able to get it all off the floor! That's when I learned that she knew how to get her diaper off! It's a family joke now!
I, too, am desensitized to it. I can't remember at least half the crap I've had to deal with, but I do have a good HAIR story.
ReplyDeleteOne day when Sophie was twoish, I felt something in her hair. It was right at the crown - a weird spot for food OR boogers, so I decided to investigate before yanking it out. It was a fully engorged tick. We live in the land of Lyme, so that vision still freaks me out. I got her on antibiotics, but still... Lyme!
I have a high gross out threshold too...
ReplyDeleteGraham has smeared poop on every surface of the house (can't wait to come visit now can you?)... and peed on most of it too.
The dog pukes everywhere.
Dottie eats boogers for breakfast.
I've spilled stomach contents on myself during a tube feed gone awry and just wiped it on my pants and went about my day.
What does get me gagging is watching an old dementia patient eat poop... happens more than you'd care to know.
Wow, I think my husband had an experience like what "The Henrys" wrote first, in a bathroom at the Humane Society with one of our twins. My husband is a real man and came out of the tiny bathroom with my son 45 minutes later and half way decent. Once I carried and ran with the other twin to the front door of a icky buffet resturant that my in laws JUST LOVE just getting the door opened when he puked all the "all you can eat" onto the sidewalk in front. To this day I am so grateful I recognized "that look" in time!
ReplyDeleteHere's a story...my oldest was home with my huspand one day when she was about 1 and a half. When i got home from work, I noticed the house was a MESS! playdoh all over the kitchen, food spilled, something wet on the floor. He is sleeping in the living room so i go see where she is...she is in her room playing with brown playdoh (or so i thought). she has an entertainment center with house drawings on the side and she was putting dirt all over by the grass. I cleaned her up and walked back into her room but i kept smelling poop. Needless to say it wasn't playdoh it was her poop that she had taken out of her diaper and was "painting" as she called it. YUCK!
ReplyDeleteI am pretty desensitized also...and I used to be so easily gagged just thinking of people spitting and stuff like that would make me gag....guess that is what happens when you deal with these things day in day out.
ReplyDeleteOne day when Daniel was about a year and a half old, he and Dan (Daddy) took an afternoon nap in our bed. Daniel apparently woke up first, and with a very dirty diaper. He went digging for treasure in his pants, and then tried to wake up Dan by shaking him. When I went in to check on them, I found Daniel looking up at me with wide eyes and dirty hands. There lay Dan, sleeping soundly with big brown hand prints all over his face and head. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard, and Dan spent a good hour in the shower after I woke him up.
ReplyDeleteEwww....I THOUGHT I was desensitized, but some of these are sooooooo bad!!!
ReplyDeleteThankfully, I can't top ANY of them!
I'm immune to most of it too. Dog barf grosses me out way more than anything my children can produce.
ReplyDeleteThe two best ones happened when they were babies. My daughter threw up in my husband's mouth (never dangle a baby over your face after she's eaten, LESSON LEARNED) and my son, at 4 days old, peed all over his sister's face. My mom was changing that diaper so she also got to bathe the pee-face.
Thanks Ellen! I've been looking for an appropriate forum to share this gross, but funny story ;-).
ReplyDeleteOn our recent camping trip, BC needed to go to the toilet and 'couldn't wait', so we stopped on the side of the road. After he'd finished and I was debating whether we should bury it, bag it and carry it the rest of the 3 hour journey with us or just pretend it had never happened and drive off, DH was checking the baggage up on the roof racks and totally forgot that there was a steaming pile of poo right beside the car....and yep he stood right in it. I've never seen anyone move so fast.
The rest of us in the car (BC included) weren't much help as he screamed for help and then plunged his foot ankle deep into a nearby puddle to clean it off. We were too busy laughing.
Noah had a coughing fit this morning and burped/puked some milk mid-cough. I was pleased to have backed up before getting it on my sweater. He's so well trained, he coughed/puked into his elbow.
ReplyDeleteWhen we're out at restaurants and I don't have blended food for Nathan and can't find anything soft to give him, I pre-chew his food and then feed him :-)
ReplyDeleteBTW, I nominated you for a Lemonade Award, I'm sure you've gotten it several times already, now you've got another:
http://www.prayfornathan.org/blog/?p=1297
I love your blog and Max is one of my heroes! Thanks for your sharing your journey with honesty and a sense of humor!!!
There are some pretty gross stories out there! My gross one actually comes from my "normal, healthy" child. I came home and found the refridgerator door open and no one around. I went looking for my hubby and son. I made my way upstairs and found my husband sound asleep on the bed and my 2 yr old son under the bed, eating moldy strawberries that he got out of the refridgerator. I know...I know, I shouldn't have moldy strawberries in the refridgerator, but hey! they turn so fast!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth was a huge barfer and the barf stories we have are endless. I do know from experience that both crows and seagulls do not distinguish between food and vomit. I have on 2 separate occassions had to fight off the birds as they peck at her barf, the last time was at a patio restaurant in Disney with families sitting around us.
ReplyDeleteI went to work with a booger smear on my jacket, I could blame it on a snail.
OK, I guess I asked for this, but I guess I still have a little bit of queasiness left in me because, wow, these are some GROSS stories. Someone needs to start a blog called "Poopster" or something like that.
ReplyDeleteHey, you guys are way gross! Neither of my girls have been poop painters, so my best story is that at various times each child has been sick, and as I lovingly hold and soothe the unhappy baby, they would look into my eyes pleadingly and gak into my cleavage. As a well endowed woman, my bra is capable of holding quite a large volume of liquid, in case you wondered.
ReplyDeleteA couple days ago I found a large booger in my bra when I sat down to pump, a few hours after last holding the baby. Yeah, my life is like that.
you are too funny.
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to ready the comments because once I start gagging I can't stop until I actually throw up! I've got tons of gross things but need to keep the breakfast down. I'm ok if I'm alone and I have to clean something up but if there is an audience and they are going "OH MY GOD" then I start with the gag. If that makes any sense!
I catch crickets with my bare hands, talk about abcesses (big pus things) at the dinner table, describe every gruesome detail of a the occasional dead bird (or lizard), and I want a bearded dragon. I'm not that typical a 12-year-old girl.
ReplyDelete