I missed the usual Monday Morning Confessional cause I wanted to share the news that I'd found about promising new research on preventing CP. The professor of chemistry I e-mailed to thank for the research wrote back to tell me that it only applies to oxygen deprivation, for those of you who were wondering.
So, being that I'm usually up to no good, I do have something to unload:
I killed our goldfish.
Yes, I did. It's amazing they even survived for several months because I kept forgetting to feed them. So did a certain husband. Named Dave. Only this time it was me who was supposed to do it, and I spaced. And one morning, they were gone. Both at once.
Another bad thing: THEY DIED NAMELESS. That's right, we never even decided what to call them. When I'd ask Sabrina for suggestions she'd say, ever so creatively, "Fish!" Max would just smile at them and say "ISH!" And so, Fish or ISH! they were.
Amazingly, the kids haven't noticed they are gone for good. Dave just said something about taking the fish to the pet store for a checkup, and that was that.
The worst fish death I ever witnessed (though it was manslaughter, not murder) was this. I used to work with a sweet but clueless woman I'll call M. She was going on vacation for a week, and she wanted the janitor at the office to feed her fish. On the day M asked him, she presented the janitor with a canister of fish food and a bag of Pepperidge Farm goldfish to help him remember to feed the real fish. He didn't speak English very well, and obviously something got lost in the translation cause guess which food he gave the fish?
Anyway, I am obviously trying to distract you from the issue at hand which is me, the fish killer. I don't think either Dave or I are quite ready to handle the responsibility of fish. Two kids, sure. Two jobs, no problem. One mortgage, fine. Two fish, not so much.
Photo by goldy fk
Hey, fish killer. You won't get any judgement from me. Fish are yucky. We once won SIX fish with the ping pong ball in the goldfish bowl carnival game. Naturally, they became known as Greg, Peter, Bobby, Marsha, Jan and Cindy. I coudln't wait for them to go to the big Carnival in the sky.
ReplyDeleteJeez. I hope tomorrow's post is more interesting. *wink*
kate.
www.caringbridge.org/visit/gavinleong
Around here, Hubby is known as Fluffy the Peony Slayer. Don't feel so bad. LOL
ReplyDeleteI thought I was the only fish killer......I didn't forget to feed Corey's fish (Fred) but I did fill his fish bowl too full of water once and he jumped out and 'slept' on the counter all night.....is that really ME killing him or maybe he committed suicide?
ReplyDeleteBut.....I also always forget to keep enough water for the hermit crab.....oops!
This is Joyce. I can beat that. I was cleaning the tank (large word for fish bowl) and somehow the Beta went down into the drain and cut himself on the blade of the disposal(good thing it was not on). It didn't kill kim instantly though. I was able to quickly retrieve him and put him back in the bowl where he died a slow death from blood loss. Matt was hysterical. I thought he was going to call the police on me. Sarah on the other hand was quite happy. She hated that fish.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel too guilty, Ellen. Those poor things die if you look at them the wrong way. Also, my dear mother - in - law once killed her fish when she washed their bowl with bleach and forgot to rinse it properly. By the way, Daniel's fish have been on (ahem) vacation visiting their cousin Nemo for the past 10 months. They died at Grammy's house while we were doing therasuit, and we didn't want him to think that she killed them... unless she washed their bowl with bleach, of course.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel too guilty, Ellen. Those poor things die if you look at them the wrong way. Also, my dear mother - in - law once killed her fish when she washed their bowl with bleach and forgot to rinse it properly. By the way, Daniel's fish have been on (ahem) vacation visiting their cousin Nemo for the past 10 months. They died at Grammy's house while we were doing therasuit, and we didn't want him to think that she killed them... unless she washed their bowl with bleach, of course.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, worst fish death? I guy I use to follow over at the Reef discussion board (aquarium), had a 900gal system, he went away for a week, and while away... It did a total melt down... The system was more or less totally automated; but one of his skimmer pipes went or something, and his calcium reactor nuked the tank.
ReplyDeleteWe're talking like $100k+ loss... I don't even know if he knew how much the tank contest where... But adult fish, and coral heads that where 2' and 3' feet across all died...
Don't even think about getting a puppy!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGuilty, also! In grade school, i had a fish and we used to keep it on the kitchen counter. One morning i was making toast next to the fish bowl, and the goldfish jumped out of the bowl into the toaster! I not only killed, but toasted him. Paola can vouch for this story...it is always a family laugh!
ReplyDeleteWe never have had fish in this house--except for dinner!! My husband used to love to fish, and he'd bring 'em home all the time. I will say he was good about CLEANING them, AND he would cook them too! I sure miss those dinners--I just don't have his touch with seafood, so we do better going out for it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a little girl I had a cat that used to kill the fish, so we ended up giving the fish away!!
The cat would get up on the tank, push aside the tank top, and flip the fish on to the floor, and then tease them until they died, slowly and horribly.
We kids would come home from school, see the results of the vicious "Fisher Cat's" work, feel terrible and cry and scream and have funerals over the toilet bowl. Momma would put duct tape on top of the tank to keep Bitty out, but then daddy would be taking the tank top off to add the food to the feeder and clean it and so on, and he'd either loosen the tape or take it off and it would happen aain and again.
Eventually, momma got tired of the whole scenario repeating itself, with daddy getting mad at so she gave the whole get-up (tank, fish, food, even the stand) to our elderly neighbor who always used to complement daddy on his swell fish tank. She loved it, and daddy would go over every day or three to make sure she was OK, anyway, and he'd help her with the fish tank duties. She loved the fish tank, and she loved the idea that she was "helping us out" by solving our problem. She was our "substitute granny" so we got to visit the fish whenever we wanted, and since she didn't have a cat, they were safe with her.
Oh my gosh, this is HILARIOUS! I love the fish food/goldfish story, too hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI'm shocked!! I agree with another poster - you're probably not ready for a puppy :)
ReplyDeleteMy daughter thought we had the Oldest Living Fish in Brooklyn because my husband kept replacing the one my daughter loved. I think you took the smart way out.
ReplyDeleteWow. Clearly, I am not the only goldfish killer around. Thanks for the moral support!
ReplyDeleteFelicia, I think you hit on something—I have a really nice elderly couple next door who moved in a couple of months ago (the ones who replaced the guy who turned out not to be an ax murderer), and I need to get THEM to get a fish tank. Bingo.
Joyce, I just laughed about Sarah not loving a Beta. I don't love them, either. They always look mean, to me. Or like they have a 'tude.
Rich, OMG, a $100k fish tank? That's insane. Even more insane to lose it.
And, no worries, all. We have no plans to get a puppy anytime soon. Maybe a hippo, just no puppy.
You are not the only fish killer. I have been very lax about making sure there was food for the fish in the tank we have right now. One day I noticed that the number of fish was dramatically reduced but that there were no bodies. The remaining fish looked very well fed lol!
ReplyDeleteRIP Fish and Ish. Just know that you aren't the only fish killer. I have a salt water tank. It gets rather expensive trying to keep the tank stocked. Yeah, I suck.
ReplyDeleteMy fish lived for four years and then died slowly and painfully while the other tried to wake it up.
ReplyDeleteI had two cats for six years. One day I came home and mama told me the cats had died. I cried, because I loved Sophia and Lucy. Sophia had CP and Kay had Down Syndrome. I didnt even know cats could have CP and Down Syndrome.
ReplyDelete