Max is going to a local hospital Monday morning to get Botox injections in his hands. His thumbs are tight, and this will help loosen them up so they can be more functional. I've been joking with friends about my big idea: a mommy-child Botox clinic. You get a little Botox around the eyes to get rid of wrinkles, your child gets Botox to get rid of stiffness.
But really, I am scared.
Not because I think this doctor might mess up the injections; I trust him completely, he's experienced and he did this once before for Max. I'm scared because they have to put Max under for the procedure. I have irrational fears about Max being unconscious, every single one of them tied to those first weeks of his life when he was in the hospital.
Wish us luck.
I know its scary but both you and Max have guardian angels, as well as the spirits of others who have died and were close to you, so Max will have a whole flotilla around him Monday morning. Little children are especially precious.. Besides Max is a survivor.
ReplyDeleteSounds scary indeed. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteeven the simpliest procedures make us worry. aaron was under 2 times in feb. for ear tubes and an endoscope, and i cried both times like a baby. i was able to be with him until he fell asleep, but having to leave is what upset me. i know exactly why you feel the way you do, and wish i could make it easier for you. good luck on monday.
ReplyDeleteHi Ellen,
ReplyDeleteI can completely understand your fears...even though what happened to Max didn't happen to my Gavin. Gavin has had to be sedated several times...and he's very high risk while he's sedated. It's very scary. I don't know where you go with Max, but we go to DuPont for everything. I insist on always being with Gavin...I once even went into the O.R. and held his hand while he was being intubated. It was more for me than for him, but hey...you do what you gotta do to get through.
I will say lots of extra prayers and send lots of positive thoughts your way come Monday. He'll do great. The prayers and positive thoughts are for you. *wink*
Our kiddos always do better than the mommas :) We just had botox for Jack last month and he too had to be put under. GOOD LUCK, we'll be thinking of you guys!!
ReplyDeleteClayton gets his botox injections in the OR as well and it's always unnerving. It never gets easy handing them over to be put under. Good luck on Monday--I'm sure all will go well!!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the mommy - child botox clinic idea - too funny! It seems that mothers like us may be more prone to wrinkles and gray hair. Oh, can you add a hair salon to take care of the gray locks that I know are going to pop up any day now?
ReplyDeleteI can definitely understand your fear. I get scared at pretty much every doctor appointment, to be honest. But like you said, the doctor is well trained and knows what he's doing. So hang in there, and I'll keep both you and Max in my thoughts and prayers. *Hugs*
I'll be thinking of Max and family on Monday! Darsie just had her first round of Botox on Wednesday and I'm already seeing improvement. I'll update my blog post on Monday after her first post-botox PT appointment.
ReplyDeleteHas Max ever tried Benik braces on his hands? Darsie wore one for a long time on her right hand and it really helped. It might be useful in keeping the thumb aligned and out while the Botox has the too tight muscles paralyzed.
Good luck, good luck, good luck!
I'm sending all my good thoughts and support your way Momma. It's amazing how scared we get with each of these things we have to do to/for them. It never gets easier. Keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone, for the heartening comments. Shannon, yes, Max has Benik splints, they really are helpful.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! We were debating doing botox, but the dr. wants to hold off for now. I was kind of nervous thinking about it also. After Kennedys last test where she just had some sedation I am now nervous. It really sucks that our children have to go through so much! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteOh I can understand your fear, but the little ones are always more at ease then us. We parents worry way more! I'll be sending good vibes your way on Monday!! Well everyday, but especially on Monday ;)
ReplyDeleteGood luck (to you both!).
ReplyDeleteWill be thinking of you on Monday.
hope everything gose well will be thinking of u both on monday
ReplyDeleteOur thoughts are with you...
ReplyDeleteDo I know how you feel!! The only thing to do is to get through it, though. That botox works a world of wonder on those tight spots, it's just a shame that the process has to be such a fire drill.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep you both in my thoughts! Good luck!
I don't think it's an irrational fear. Under the circumstances, I think it's totally normal and understandable.
ReplyDeleteBC is probably going to under a GA for dental work in the next few months and when the dentist told me, I burst into tears. I still dread thinking about it.
For the exact same reason as you. I don't ever, ever want to see my little boy unconscious ever again. Having to see your first born child drugged and unresponsive in the first few days or weeks of their lives is not something any parent could be expected to ever forget. It still brings tears to my eyes to remember.
But I know also that my fears about his upcoming GA are more about the painful memories they will bring to the surface again rather than a real fear that something will go wrong now.
So please be very kind to yourself. Your feelings are very normal. And I bet it will be fine. I look forward to hearing about the positive effects of the botox.
Sending hugs from down under xo
Luck. I share your fears. Mine aren't reserved just for procedures. I have a drastic phobia of PICU, among other things in that hospital.
ReplyDeleteI can't begin to understand what you continue to live through but you are so strong.....I know everything will be fine but please know my thoughts and prayers will be with you both tomorrow.....I wish I lived closer to you ....I would be at the hospital with you....giving support!
ReplyDeleteSending lots of hugs to your family!!!!!
Lots of positive, happy vibes for you and Max. I hate it when Emmett has to be put under.
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking of you. I understand why you are scared...
ReplyDeleteI think it's perfectly natural to be scared about this sort of thing. For me, every time Connor goes under (and it's probably been 30 times at this point) not only do I worry that this is the time something will go wrong, but also it brings back all those memories of the first few surgeries he had, and feeling completely, totally helpless and unable to protect him. I'm very happy that we're not in Dallas any more as I'm sure doing the procedures in the same hospital where he spent those first few weeks would bring it back even more vividly. We'll be thinking about y'all on Monday.
ReplyDelete~Jess
Ellen,
ReplyDeleteI will definitely be thinking of you and sending prayers your way tomorrow morning.
On Friday, Elijah's PT asked us if Elijah's Physiatrist had ever mentioned botox to us for his hands (he hasn't - yet), but the mere mention of it by Eli's PT made me terrified. I'm not ready to try botox yet, but that doesn't mean that I won't in the future. You're not alone in the fear, you're not alone with bad hospital memories, but you can be reassured that you won't be alone tomorrow -many people will be sending postive thoughts your way. :)
Oh, and by the time I'm ready to try botox for Elijah, maybe you'll have started your mommy-child clinic? ;)
Good Luck!!
ReplyDeleteWe'll be thinking of you both on Monday. I wish I could take the fear away for you, I could only imagine how scary it could be but I am sure everything will be just fine.
ReplyDeleteSending positive thoughts your way.
Thinking of you today Ellen! I relate to how you feel pretty well. Ethan was put under a few days ago for a procedure and he did fine but I was a total wreck. You guys will be fine, you've got mega angels around you I'm sure!
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