Max has a thing for women with long, flowy hair, like Amy Adams in Enchanted. It started with his music-therapy teacher, Joanne, who looks and sings like your average Disney princess. Sabrina kind of feels threatened by her. When Joanne showed up to the house recently with her usual-ponytailed hair down, waist-length and gloriously blond, Sabrina got visibly upset and when Joanne asked why Sabrina said, "I'M the only princess around here."
I hope, I hope that someday Max will live happily ever after with someone. Granted, who he shacks up with is not at the top of my list of concerns, given that he's five years old. But it's one of the things I think about when I let my mind ramble all over Worryland. Dave doesn't go there. He keeps me settled here on Planet Reality, where we have a beautiful five-year-old boy who loves life and who needs my unworried attention.
When you have a bad case of the worries, what calms you?
Oh Ellen...Even though we do not chat much anymore, I still consider you one of my best computer friends that I have never met (although I do think I could pick you out of a crowd:).) I remember from the beginning, when both are boys were new to this world, we were both new to this crazy mom life, and we were both given horrid diagnosis for our kids. How could it be, that almost 6 years has gone past???
ReplyDeleteSo, what do I do to get me out of worry world? Medication. I never had problems with anxiety, fear, or worry, until after Jacob was born. I think with Jonathan I was just to busy concentrating on making him "better" and proving everyone wrong, that honestly I didn't stop to think much about his stroke. But after Jacob was born, and I relived my time in the NICU, and trying to get services for Jonathan was becoming quite a challenge, I started to panic. I sat in the NICU for 4 days with Jacob, bawling my eyes out. But I don't think it was for him. I think it was for Jonathan. We had the same neonatologist for Jacob as we did for Jonathan (they man gave us the devestating news with tears welling up in his eyes).
I can now look at Jonathan, and see how far he has come, and smile. My biggest worry though, is that in school he will be teased, he will be made to feel like a weak person because he may not be able to do things like other kids all the time, or worst of all, that he fails. Being mainstream is a catch 22. It is fantastic to know that he can be in a regular classroom, but he is the only child that possibly has issues. No other 'special needs' kids in his class. What if he fails, and they all laugh at him?What if no one likes him? Oh, I am going to cry.
Medication. And ignoring the fact. I guess I will cross all these bridges when I get there. Worrying about it now ruins the good memories and times I have with the boy. Besides...he is wicked cool. Who wouldn't want to be friends with him?
Wow, this is a huge confessional for me...maybe I should start a blog.
Exercise and large amounts of good-quality dark chocolate. And a very deliberate turn away from my worries, the mental equivalent of snapping a rubber band on my wrist. My own behavioral therapy.
ReplyDeleteThe worst is when I am somehow forced to watch - such as when I am present for a speech evaluation, or see my child in a crowd of typical kids. As long as I can focus just on her, or keep seeing her only through the lens of her SN peers, I'm okay.
coffee!
ReplyDeleteThe worry that you feel for Max is the same concern i feel for myself, at the age of 28. I take it one day at a time, and live life as it is..striving toward being independent.
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