Max as Lightning McQueen, his idol.
Halloweenie, that's me (what, you think I was calling Max a weenie?!). Every year, as much as I look forward to seeing the kids in their cute outfits, I also dread Max's meltdown at our city's Halloween parade. It's not so much a parade as one big sugar-infused madhouse, with kids dashing from store to store getting their candy. Crowds wig Max out. (Ditto for firecrackers, big dogs and Sarah Palin. Oh, wait, that's just me.) Sure enough, he lasted maybe five minutes. Dave took him home, and I wandered my way around with Sabrina.
Sometimes, I dread the sort of events others look forward to. Birthday parties with Max can be a nightmare, Thanksgiving a stress mess. I think I purposefully expect the worst so I'll be content, even happy, if the outcome isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Am I alone here?
I got a nice surprise: Max LOVED trick or treating. He was beside himself with glee when kids showed up at our door, and concentrated so, so hard on picking up candy bars and packages of pretzels from the orange basket on our porch and dropping them into kids' buckets.
Action shot!
Max got the hang of grabbing candy, although I wasn't able to train him to take only peanut butter cups, my favorite.
Sabrina, aka Belle.
Not to be outdone, Sabrina proceeded to pick up handfuls of candy and give them away to each kid. So we were facing a severe candy crisis by mid-evening. Unlike the economy, it held stable.
I'm pretty sure I heard Max say "boo" when he saw some pictures of ghosts, which was a real thrill. He has a particularly hard time with "b" and "p," since they require lip closure (bet you're mouthing those letters right now) and his mouth usually hangs slack from lack of muscle control.
A shout out to Brian, a neighbor who dressed as a man captured by a gorilla. Next to him is Dave, who dressed as a suburban dad.
Anyway, we all had a great time. So are any of you weenies about your kids and events/celebrations?
I hate firecrackers too- they are dumb and dangerous and if we're ever in the same hemisphere, I"m happy ot hang out, safely indoors with max on the 4th of July!
ReplyDeleteThis year, the SN kid did great. It was the NT kid who FREAKED out at the sight of a couple of people in scary costumes and said "I want to go right home!" over and over again until we did just that. Big sis was annoyed because we had a lot more territory to cover, but bounced back nicely.
ReplyDeleteSo we have about half the candy we should have, and actually that's not too terrible.
You know, my NT (neurotypical, for moms of whose kids aren't SN--special needs) kid is sometimes so much harder to deal with than Max is. But with me, I feel guilty about that because often the reason she is difficult is because she can speak and be obnoxious. Max can't because he's unable to talk. That isn't to say that he can't be bratty or stubborn, but he's not going to pipe up and say "YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND!" as Sabrina told me the other day or say unintentionally rude things to people, like the day she essentially told a babysitter she has man hands (she basically said, "Why are your hands so big?").
ReplyDeleteI so love these posts. It is so often that parents of kids who have SN think or feel or assume that every struggle their kids have is somehow part of their pathology. And understandably so, esp if you do not have a typically developing kids to compare it to.It can be isolating I imagine.
ReplyDeleteOften, the things they are experiencing are what every kid that age is likely to exp. I think it is important to attribute as much to the kid as a individual or b/c of age and stage rather that pathology, bc then we are putting the kid first and the disability second.
That should never be what defines anyone as we are all more than simply a sum of our parts, and ceratainly more than any of our parts standing alone.
You know, I have the same feelings about many special events that others take for granted and look forward to. My oldest is not classified and to most people seems like a perfectly normal if bratty kid. He has sensory processing disorder that makes many events extremely difficult for him. Walking with the Dinosaurs found us huddling in the hallway of MSG because the Trex was just too loud. Thank goodness for box seats. His little brother was able to stay inside and enjoy the show.
ReplyDeleteYou write really well, Ellen, Thanks for sharing!
There is nothing better for a SN kid than to take control...handing out candy was the perfect solution! We hand out candy from our stoop in Brooklyn and get to see everything from the safety of our own steps.
ReplyDeleteMy SN kid particularly hates costumes. Last year T. wore dark glasses and when someone asked who he was he explained: If I tell you I will have to kill you. Glad you more-than-survived! The kids look adorable!!!!! xo d
Hi Max's mom! I'm happy to make your acquaintance. I'm glad you found my blog.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I'm not sure Halloween is that great for small kids--it's a lot to take even for me as an adult: Noise, costumes, scary stuff. It's no good.
HI! :::waving::: Found your blog through Bird's! I too have a 5 year old with mild CP. I am going to add you to my blogroll. Welcome to the SNK blog world- I have several other friends on my blogroll whose kids of CP as well. Come on over! Again, Welcome! Love your first few posts!
ReplyDelete